Sunday, September 26, 2010

Stainless Steel~

I sometimes wish that I am made out of stainless steel,

unreadable, more aloof, rigid and and immune from any sorts of emotions (esp the bad ones)..

I am readable they say, very easily read, but what annoys them is that, when I am upset, I don't share it, just kept everything to myself..

All my feeling, whether I am happy or when I am sad, whether am I in fear, agony or angry...all are channeled in a form of a crystal clear fluid which is tears...well, call me a cry baby..but i dun cry in public like a baby does (but how I wish I could do that)..but no, i like usually cry in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep..(T_T)~

Juliet use to say, 'Sometimes I feel guilty whenever I am happy because I don't feel like I deserve it'

and I would tell her the feeling is mutual...but I would tell her again, 'but Juliet, God is great, you have to remember, for a girl like you, who has gone through so many hardship in life, you deserve to be happy, He wants you to be happy'...

I constantly keep reminding myself, whatever happens in life, whether it's good or bad, good and bad experiences they are always good for you...everything comes with a lesson for you to learn, all you have to do is use your brain and heart, dig a lil deeper and you'll find it..Again God is great, and He is'll take sometime for us too see all the silver linings but yes He is the Greatest..always know what is best for you..

So many things that has happen in life..most of them are very heartbreaking but I know I can do this...

As much as I want to me made out of stainless steel, I think I'll settle with the ME I have now..

Coz looking back, if I realy want to be a stainless steel might as well as I be one insensitive mean B**tch..hehe..but no..that's not me...I am ME...

Dearest friends all that I am begging are for your kindness and prayer...I would return the favour by praying for you guys to..thank you..

*I don't write journals because it'll be to depressing, I wrote it here so I can share and get useful advices..because someone once told me, the best advice sometimes comes from faceless strangers..(^_^)*


  1. lol im a faceless stranger. does that mean i give good advice?

    neway, all of us r prayin' for ya insyaAllah :)

  2. uknown~ seriously..

    sometimes,like I always said and i even find it fascinating that strangers understands you..

    sometimes when u feel that ur own family are strangers and strangers are like ur family..

    and yes, u might not believe me but u gave me good advices so far..hahaha~

    and i would return the favor praying to Allah, ease your path in whatever you do...

    stay cool and faceless..hahaha~