Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Birthday note to oneself~

*I waannnnnttttttt thisss cake!!!!!!!! golek2 atas lantai merengek sampai dapat!!!*

Bismilahirrahmanirrahim, they say begin your day with basmalah and insyaAllah you’ll be blessed by the Almighty.  Subahanallah, as You are the only one Who are worthy to be praised, Alhamdulillah, for all the things in life that You had blessed upon me and Allahuakbar, for the strength that you have given through out 28 years of my life. Sometimes we tend to forget how be thankful. Yesterday, before I went to bed reminiscing my big day, I remember the text my ma sent me, when a mother acknowledged the fact that I am a good daughter and a good servant to Allah swt, I feel relieved knowing even the whole world are against me, I am on the right track. And knowing that you're on the right track when you know you have been blessed with amazing friends as well. I want to thank mama for always taking me to majlis ilmu, papa who always called and making me laughed with all his lame jokes, my siblings who I shared happiness and hardship with. And finally my friends.I thank all you for always reminding me not be lazy, work hard and never give up hope.And being someone, who always reminds me if my tudung is not long enough or my baju is not loose enough. Nagged if I perform solah lambat. Which surah I should read today, don't forget to perfom solah dhuha, share the beneficial doa's for the sake of our success together (dunia and akhirah inysaAllah). I wouldn't ask for any other friends than you guys. Irreplaceable. Thank you all~   
Just a note to myself on my birthday and a token of my gratitude: 

  •  Even I am yet to be happily married doesn’t make me any less happier 
  •  Earning less than any other colleagues of mine doesn’t make me any poorer or sourer
  •  So far, I went this far to study and I am glad, Subhanallah, that there’s  not even a small seed of arrogance was planted in this weak heart of mine
  •  I have achieve nothing grand and yet I never feel like an underachiever
  •  I am glad I am who I am I don’t really care what others think of me
  •  I am glad that I am not born skinny
  • I am glad that I was once fat 
  •   I am glad that I was once loved
  •   I am glad that I was once hurt
  •  I am glad that I am a simpleton
  •  I am glad that I am the second child out of six and still called adik
  •  I am thankful to have my parents
  •  I am thankful to have amazing siblings
  •  I am glad that I have kind hearted friends
  •  I am glad I have a cool and humble crush. You're unlike any other guys I met. You're amazing. You posses the quality that far exceeds any male population I know but there you are remaining low profile and humble. Humble is a pretty rare trait ya know. Any girl who gets you is very lucky indeed (walaupun saya akan ada sedikit jeles). I hope you'll get someone amazing as you deserve only the best.
  •  I am glad for all the tears that I shed
  • I am glad for all the mistakes and lessons that I learned
  • I am glad I am wacky and bless with loyar buruk attitude
  • I am satisfied so far I am glad that I don’t treat life like it’s a competition 
  •  I am glad that I don’t mind growing old
  • I am glad that I am not resistant to change
And the list goes on…This year present have to wait but do pray for me =)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The post that I was short-listed as one of the 2011 Cleo Top Blogger Competition =)

Paycheck Frenzy~

Would you rather be doing what you enjoy for less pay or something you don't really like but pays very well?

Overrated, I know..hahaha..

But here's something I like to share...

Engaged in a conversation with a medical doctor a few days back and he came up with this quote after I laughingly asked whether or not he'll be stuck at the Psychiatric Department for life..and he said..

"Babe, nothing in this life is permanent".. 

Aaaaand I would continue to relate with the above matter by saying 

'So does your paycheck people!!'..

The number printed on the paycheck will never remain as it is for the next year to come so why bother about money.

As the human system feed on good and healthy food to fuel our system and to have a long prosperous life, well same goes to our souls, it needs love and happiness in order to fuel the passion that we have for life..So why torture yourself..

I am here to proudly announce that currently that I am happy with my life because, I am in love with my life because I am doing what I love and I've got a great paycheck as well..

My beloved ma once said,

'You control the money not the money controls you'

But to get where I am today ain't an easy thing to do, some sacrifices has to me made.I had a huge fight with my ma and had to let go someone who I was so in love with (well that would be another story)

When I was young, primary school to be exact, remember that brown card that needed filled in, remember that the part where it stated Cita-cita (Ambition)..You have to filled it with the top three of your dream ambition..I wrote Doctor, Lecturer and Stewardess (yes ladies please roll your eyes).

But I am a chatterbox and communicate well with people..Remember back In States My English teacher Ms. Troya once scolded me "Ms. Othman, I regret teaching English because once you start talking you can't stop"

My ma has always wanted her children to have a stable job, to be more specific she preferred her children to inherit my dad's comfortable well paid job in the government.

But my brother was the one who broke the rule after he announced that he wanted to be a medical doctor.Well he surprised the whole family because he didn't seem like the job would suit him because forever knowing my brother, he's the joker of the family but he was firm when he told the whole family.

Later I asked him, 

"Doctor huh? Does this has anything to do the paycheck"

'"Hell no, it's because I really wanted to help people and it's fun"

I know right fun?pfft..but he managed to prove us wrong, don't believe me, wait till you see his facebook pic..hehe~

So the continuation of  dad's legacy was then pass down to me..which I obviously rebelled against by leaving home and accepted small pay lecturing job in a private college in Pahang, resulting to a month of silent war and poor dad have to be the middle man before me and ma decided to pull out the white flag.

Just in case you guys are wondering, I taught my student Biology (A-LEVEL).

I taught them for almost a year and I had to leave them to accept a scholarship offer from a well know University and the Ministryof higher education who'll fund my Master and PhD studies and in return I will become a lecturer at the University itself. How can I resist that.

But the beauty about this whole lecturing thingy is when in the end you received thank you note from you student and saying that they got A for the paper that I taught.

Last I heard, all my former A- level got accepted in many of the world renowned University all across Europe.

Climbing a mountain was never easy, so don't whine when we decide to go climb and find the journey to be difficult. We should have known the consequence from the very beginning, don't you think? :) -Diana Rikasari

Diana rikasari is one of  my favourite Indonesian Fashion Blogger which I had surprisingly discovered, had given up her well paid job to start her own shoe line and fashion brand as well and seem that the sacrifices and hard work seems to be paying off.Inspiring.

So for those who kept posting facebook status like 'My work sucks' 'TGIF' 'Oh man, Monday already??dammit'

Stop torturing yourself and go knock yourself out!!~

Here's a thought, God had created Heaven and hell, and why would you normal human being wanted to create another hell for yourself..Tell you it ain't healthy..sooooo...

Everybody is Alice, go Enjoy exploring yourself and the wonderland!!~

p/s: I aspire to be a writer and hoping that by starting this it'll lead to something more promising and fun.

*let's go grab some candy and snicker shall we*

Friday, November 2, 2012

The least I could do is to dream~

I wrote this two years ago..and finding the right hand to hold is still a dream of mine..It wouldn't hurt to dream as it teaches us about hope....=)

I want a hand to hold me..

I want a hand that will guide me...

I want a hand that will wake me up every morning..

I want a hand that I can hold and kiss every time each jamaah prayer ends..

I want a hand to hold and embrace me whenever I'm sad..

I want a hand that will wipe away all my tears even when I cry over stupid stuff..

I want a hand that will comb my hair and lull me to sleep every single night..

I want a hand that will tease and pinch my cheek whenever i'm naughty..

I want a hand that I can always cling to, any time so I won't get lost..

I want a hand that I can always hold until the day I die...

And I will give my hand so that so I can do the same for him...and let him cling to me when the whole world wears him of

*You will always have me, that's a promise

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Little Sofea

*Sofea aka Popea*

The first time I met this little girl, she was just a bucket full of cuteness, full of energy and zeal. And that was also the first time I remembered , I was forced to jump into her small pool that she just received for her birthday presents. I was given the role as a shark and play chase the fish in the pool. Juliet Ooi was there too. Just because Juliet Ooi was a tad too pretty than I was she was spared from being a mean shark *role eyes...hahaha..She also bullied me to chant that spell in the Tangled movie and play color2 with her…haha..Just so you know, this beautiful creature goes by the name of Sofea binti Shahrizar, her beautiful mother Aria is the eldest sister to my roommate which makes her anak menakan my roomie in other words her one and only niece.

But never knew how that little innocent soul can teach you so much. But there was this one incidence I can’t help  feel so touched and affected by her. She was the only child in the family and now her parents are trying hard to get her a lil sister or brother for her. But the sustenance of having another child was not yet to be granted by Allah. So one day my roommie called her eldest sister and heard a loud crying sob in the background. It was our precious Sofea. After my roommie hung up, I can’t help but to get curious about it so I asked..Why was Sofea releasing a heart wrenching sob. So my rommie told me..Sofea was devastated after she got to know that her aunt Yaya (my rummie second eldest sister) got pregnant. Her aunt is a newly wed who were just recently tied the not and blessed with having a child on the way. Alhamdulillah. I was delighted to hear the news cause I know what an angelic soul cik Yaya and her husband uncle Zilal have. But I frowned “Ish, Sofea should be happy as she will be getting a cousin soon”..Then my roommie continue “That’s not the case, you know why she cried hearbrokenly, she said to her ibu, "I pray everyday, day and night to Allah to give Ibu what she wants but why cik yaya was the one got pregnant"”..And that come out from a 5@6 yr old girl. I was taken aback. Subhanallah, looking at hard at how a child pray hard so that her mother would get what she wants. Where else can you find a beautiful intention than in a pure 5@6 yr old child. How I wish I could hug her and tell her had Sofea any idea how Allah loves her for her pureness and her love for her mother. How I want to tell her that Allah wants to teach Sofea the wisdom of being patience and the value of having a sibling when she finally has one (InsyaAllah). On that night itself I pray to Allah swt to give her what she wants. Even until now. InsyaAllah that day will come. How your child have humble this ignorant soul. 

To Akak and Abg Shah, you guys have no idea what a great job that you guys have done in bringing her up. Keep up the good work. She’ll grow into a fine, overbearing and protective daughter and sister. I am glad that I am a part of her life, even if my presence is trivial and as much all of your hearts are set on her, I have set my heart on her as well. My prayers will always be with her =) Ya Allah I thank you for the lovely lesson. Pray for our parents as well as they are out there praying for our well being =)

Thank you Sofea for teaching me so much, and always know that cik ros loves you. xoxoxoxoxox

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Viva Voce~~

*ecstatic yet retarded*

I once experience a near death experience when our baby sitter Yamica McDaniels took my siblings and I out for a swim. I bravely swam to deeper side of the pool which was very foolish of me because I can’t swim. I almost drowned..But Yamica was fast enough to pull me out of the pool and saved me..But yeah I got scolded for my remarkable antiques yet stupid act...But I continue to swim anyway. Didn’t scare me one bit..hahaha..

But I have to tell you, the next near death experience that I went through had to be last Monday 22 October 2012..Nothing had prepare for what was there to come. Tales were told, experiences were shared by friends and experts. But I was not expecting for it to be that tough. Lasted for 3 freaking hours, bombarded with questions on my research, and some questions were simply asked just for the sake of entertainment. But I had to say it was an amazing experience. I made it out from there alive. But due to extreme stress, I got sick the whole day, my body refuses any forms of food or water, liquid or solid. Must be the aftermath, post viva thingy I guess.  I even had to make my rummie stop by the road so I can puke in a huge drain after she picked me up after the whole event..and it became a huge puking marathon that day…hahaha..She was worried as hell, but I was dead beat that day =(

I regain my wits and spirit the day after. Paling x boleh blah, malam tu ade fire drill. Memang Happening laaaaa!!Hey I passed but major corrections, just because that one tiny part that I made a mistakes at, it kinda effect bits and pieces of the subsequent parts of the other research. Lots to be done. I just collected the report and now I have to go through it and do all the corrections that are required to do.. And then Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I’ll be getting my masters degree =) after 3 freaking years people..Life’s tough eay..but this is the path that I chose..To be an educator..PhD plak people!!!!adoiiiii…agak2 pengsan time viva kene bagi CPR time PhD nnti..hehehe..Alhamdulillah..planning to give myself a break this week and will be starting to isolate myself from the world next week..hehe

It’s true what they say “Everything seems impossible until it is done”

To those who were there for me through for the past 3 years, you guys are the awesomest bunch that anyone could have ever asked for. Much love, and panda hug..hehe..I couldn’t have done it without you guys..I had fun!!!!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and yerp lets get the PhD applications rolling!! =)

Selamat Hari Raya Haji Everyone!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Wear heart on your sleeve~

Your parents showers you with unconditional love
Your siblings will always have your back
But my bestfriends ,they taught me it’s ok to wear your heart on your sleeve..I can be whoever I want to be when I am with them..I am allow to love them openly...teheeee…
Hugs and kisses..and I mean literally..I can kiss ‘em and hug ‘em anytime I want..Be jealous~

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Being at the blossoming age of 28, the most frequented asked question why are you not married yet? I would answer with a smile. But I was caught of guard once when my mama brought up the subject herself and she finally said ‘Kenapa yer, setiap kali mama cakap pasal hal ni je, adik macam putus asa?’ I was surprised and wondered what kinda facial expression I’d been giving her every time she tried to venture into the subject. The rest were the normal accusations saying that I am being too choosy, some told me am being to ambitious. Hello, since when being ambitious has anything to do with this. The worst case scenario, some even think that I am lesbian. Buta apa kepala hotak kau.

Dear mama, I know you are worried. I am worried too.

More than being worried, I am actually being more careful. I don’t mind being judged, because most people don’t now what I’ve been through. But at one point in time, you just get too tired of being misunderstood.

Sacrifice. Have you made one yourself? I have. Torn me to pieces. I know how it feels like to be wounded. But as much as I don’t want anyone to travel the same road I once travel, I don’t want to go through the same ordeal and torment I once had. Like walking barefoot on a burning coal or broken glass. Getting so close to losing your sanity. I became cautious.You see as that one happy bunch but I brush away any advanced made towards me. But it’s more like I really haven’t found the security that I continue to seek.

Commitments are like a fragile crystal glass from where I see it. If you don’t hold onto it carefully, you’ll end up breaking them into pieces and it will never be the same again. I don’t want that to happen.

Do I have someone that I like? Of course I do. Pursuer..hmmm..am not sure…haha..But I guess I have just to stop there. Stop dead in the track. I don’t want to be unfair to anyone. I don’t want anyone to make unnecessary sacrifices having to give up everything and runaway with me. I just brave the cold blooded world alone and lonely for now. Empty, that’s for sure.

But once I am done, when I find that the guy that I like still remains the same as I left him, I’ll be sure to do the chase. I took the lead once, I don’t mind doing it again. I’ll force him to give in..hahaha =)

The conclusion drawn from the post is that I am not a lesbian and I am as straight as hell..I like men..there you have it =)

Monday, September 24, 2012


The first time I met you, when was it? A year? Or was it two years ago? You weren’t in my favor as something else grabs my attention during that moment. You were proven to be hostile. A man of a few words. Seems like you were only interested and more absorbed in your work. You seem to be living in your own realm. Focused. Before I left I thought I gave you one final glance, how mysterious you were but I just dismissed the whole notion.  I did got the chance to hear your voice. Deep I guess or was I wrong. The memories were vague instead of vivid. Then later the virtual world allows us to become acquaintance. But when I finally got to know your name, I found it intriguing. Till this day I wonder what it means. You offered very little information about yourself. As time goes by, you have proven to have more than what meets the eye. Beauty is only skin deep they say but what’s inside of you makes you stunning. You are beauty on your own. Now how I wish that I can ask you to stay a little longer even as a companion or as a friend. I am glad that somehow we are friends even though at the same time you are a complete alien to me. Sometimes I do imagine or picturing myself how it would be like to really talk to you in person, having to hear your voice. But imaginations remain as imaginations. I’ll stop here before it gets more severe. Since I feel like I am about to explode keeping everything inside I decided to write. And you know what’s the best thing about you, you make me want to write again and I told myself why not make this one about you. That’s a start~

So I have a trilogy to finish. I leave it at that for now. Have a great day everyone. =)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Kindness of a stranger

A few days back I read a friend facebook status who just recently came back from Adelaide which sounded like this:

At ur own place, with ur own people, ur hometown and all..and what u miss the most is the kindness of a stranger! Funny that i miss a stranger helping me with doors, trolly, groceries and all! Especially when u are a mom wif babies/toddlers- never had to ask for help, they came to u

 I smiled reading this and have to admit we don’t instill those kinds of culture here in Malaysia. It’s not that I blamed anyone, maybe it’s just that our culture has created us to be cautious of the surrounding that somehow molded us into being skeptic towards the environment we’re in and the people around us as well. But I have to share this unique experience that I have. 

Those were the earlier days that I just arrived in Penang and USM. I was not aware of the USM rules and curfew or whatsoever. Pretty clueless I tell you. There was this one night I took the bus from KL to Penang and I ended up arriving very early  than the designated time, way early I tell ya. Not knowing any friends, I took the taxi ride home. Back then I didn’t know there was another USM gate that opened 24 hours so I made the taxi driver stopped me at the main entrance of USM and the gate was closed. It was Sunday morning if I was not mistaken; I put my bags down and waited in front of the gate. Tried to summon the guards but there was no one to be seen. I grew afraid of coldness and darkness that embraced me. Then I saw a herd of motorists having some sort of a race and I grew even more terrified. But I just waited patiently there waiting for the gate to open.

A few moments as I grew even more terrified, I pray to Allah so that He’ll protect me from any harm. Then I saw an old man cycled towards me. He was riding and old bike. He saw me and asked ‘Anak, anak buat apa tunggu kat sini’. I was beyond relieved when I saw him, his kind face clad in a white baju melayu and kain pelikat ‘Saya baru sampai dari Kuala Lumpur pakcik, saya tak boleh masuk’. Then he said ‘MasyaAllah, patutla pakcik rasa nak keluar awal hari ni, bahaya anak duduk kat sini’..I was quiet. Then he got of his bike and sat next to me ‘Takpe la, pakcik teman anak kat sini, selalu pagar bukak 5.30.Pakcik slalu dtg bukak pintu masjid. Ni baru pukul 4.30’ He told me and smile kindly. I smiled back and told him ‘Nasib baik la pakcik ada.Saya takut’. He then added ‘Lain kali nak, jgn la amik bas malam ye.bahaya dan awak tu perempuan’ and guess what, I followed his advice till today. Never have I took any night buses since then. He waited patiently with me until the gate opened. He helped me carry my bags and I manage to get back safely to my hostel. I thanked him for his company and assistance. To think back of what happened, it was a pretty dangerous situation that I have gotten myself into, but if it weren’t for the kind stranger who waited patiently with me, things would have gotten even worse. I don’t know what would’ve happen to me. I have to thank Allah for hearing my prayers and sending me an angel in a form of an old man. 

You do find comfort and kindness in a stranger and I was really glad that Allah had given me the chance to experience that. Until today I would recognize his face and I do bump into pakcik occasionally, am not sure if he remembers me but I’ll be sure to say Assalamualaikum and smile at him. but I feel a little sad not be able to ask what his name was. May Allah bless your soul for protecting me that night.The kindness of a stranger can be find anywhere. Just look a little harder ok =)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The aim is to stay fit and not thin =)

You might heard of the tagline like a gazillion of times right. I got a text from a friend of mine two days back asking me how did I kept myself motivated to go for out for a workout or exercise. She finds it hard to motivate herself and I believe most of you guys out there have the same trouble too.

How do keep myself motivated? Well for me there’s a story that lies behind the whole of my weight loss success .I think I post it in my blog before but going down the memory lane is something that I wouldn’t want to do right now…Ok to cut the story short, I use to be fat, hate the way I look like and hated the fact that I sweat like mad all the time. Aside than that, I am a happy kid =) I really was. There was this guy who really I liked back then always called me montel and after 3 months that I shredded almost 10 kilos, for the first time ever, he called me by my name. A total boost to your self-esteem I might say =) But that's not the point, I mean yeah partly, I take that as a motivation, but later in life you just realize that you just want to stay healthy. I don’t want to be the unhealthy person that I once was. Well looking good is an added bonus right. If you want to change the way you look, look for an inspiration la, go look out for a poster pin up healthy looking celebs, and not the supper skinny model type. They look plain weird to me..isk..As for me I always googled for videos of Korean artist for motivation and I like dancing, I look out for the video to learn some dance routine as well..hahahaha..

Look! It’s ok not to be ok as Jessie J had sang it, but not to the point that you start into entering the wallowing into self pity stage. Your body is something that you can change and the first step is to always take charge. If there is one thing about workout that I find exhilarating, it is to feel the sweat dripped down your face. God it makes me feel good. Yerp, that’s my opium. I get high and happy. If I don’t’ run, I’ll walk, if I don’t walk I do jumping jacks in the room or put on loud music and dance away, I’d swim and even hike if I have the time and friends. Well they say exercise is only something that’ll speed up your weight loss, what is really important if for you to control your food intake. If you have a dormant kind of lifestyle, why not start by watching what you eat. You are what you eat. I might not be the right person to tell you what to do and how to eat right as I am no expert. I am loving who I am today, I am not fat and am not thin either, but I always know that my body is something that I can change. I am struggling here myself in maintaining the way I look as well. Everyone does. I have always tell myself if I don’t like the way our body look like, take charge and do something to change it.

Just start doing something about it. They say the hardest step is always the first step out of the door. Well tell to your inner bitch that’s stopping you to go to hell. How’s that for a change. They say the biggest fight that you’ll have is the fight that you have with your inner self. But whatever it is don’t push or exert yourself too much. There are limits ok. So yeah, take care and take care of your food intake as well. Remember, looking good is number two, to be healthy is number ONE!!~

Monday, April 30, 2012

My Ayah Su (How I fell in love)

Have you ever fallen in love with someone you never laid eyes on? You still love them even the fact that they are no longer from this world. Well I have. Spending time with my grandma for a week made me learned a great deal about my long demise ayah su which I will never get the chance to see him, ever. He died at a very young age at 13, on the same year that my mother gotten married to my father. Every single evening I spent time with my grandma, I would make her tell me stories about him.

My grandma said these few incidence happened during the time that when my ayah su was about to leave this world. One night my ayah su sneaked out of the house. My grandma notice but she didn’t say a word. Simultaneously, to his disappearance my grandma also notice that on of her 50 ringgit note that she usually kept in a vase disappeared as well. The next morning my grandma noticed at the same vase where she kept her 50 ringgit note, there’s a balance in a total of 39.50 ringgit. The incidence happened a few times and only that particular moment my grandma was moved to asked my ayah su, she gently asked “Idi (my ayah sue given nicknames), Idi wat gapo dengan duit tu’ (Idi, what did you do with the money?) He innocently answered, ‘Idi guno duit to blanjo saing make mi rebuh’ (I used the money to treat my friends for mi rebus’. Then my grandma further added “kito ni buke ore senang di, mana boleh wat gitu slalu’ (Idi, we’re not that rich ourselves Idi, you can’t treat your friends all the time). He just kept quiet. The night later, he died because he had trouble breathing as he is an asthmatic child. He died in my grandma arm later that night.

When the villagers learned the news of my ayah su demised, many paid him a visit for the very last time ranging from his school teachers, friends (they purposely cut school so they could see my ayah su for the very last time) and many unknown stranger to my grandma including pakcik who sell me rebus. My grandma kindly thanked those who came and learned who these people in my ayah su’s life are. To the teachers he is a great and kind kid even though he could be a bit naughty. The teachers loved him dearly. And my grandma also came to learn that the money that he used to treat his friends, were not to treat just any mere friends, he purposely took the money to treat his friends who are poor as well as orphans. That story was shared by the pakcik who sell the mi rebus. He said the night before he passed away he has gather all his friends who are poor and orphans and treats them to mi rebus (21 in total, a mi rebus costs about 50 sen back then and that explains the 39.90 ringgit change in the vase). All the friends that he treats were that at the funeral mourning over a loss of a great friend. And other countless strangers that came to visit were the people that arwah had sincerely helped in someway during the time that he is still alive. A stranger also shared, there was also this incident that my ayah su purposely stole rambutans so that he could gave it away to those in need. He later got scolded for that ;P But was let go after that when the  orchard owner comes to know about his innocent intention. In fact the pakcik packed more rambutans for him to be given away. =) I have always wondered how a young soul could be so thoughtful. I use to wonder how it would be like if he is still a live.

I never know him, but every single time after my prayer I would sedekah prayers for my ayah su as well. Eventhough I never met him, I love him very much and hope that one day I would get the chance to meet him in the other world. He thought me that love and good deeds  knows no boundaries. He is not from this world but I come to love him dearly. When I see my grandma teared up talking about arwah, I always tell my grandma, ‘Akhirat nanti, da ade da orang nak tarik chek masuk syurga’ (Someone is already waiting to pull you into paradise when the judgement day appears). She would look up and gather her hands and say Alhamdulillah. I learn a great deal form my ayah su and  I wish I could inherit some of his character, or maybe even my kids. To my Ayah su- Al-Fatihah =)

Monday, April 16, 2012


*you are currently being stalked by me..heh heh heh

It’s been a while huh? Nevermind, for this personal space of mine I can write whenever I want right. Don’t have to write if I don’t want too aite..Haha..My life’s a mess lately..almost reaching towards the end..almost there..but that’s not the case..so judging by the title post, I’m sorry to let you guys know that there is no elements of phsycho thriller in it..Just a few gedik2 experience that I've been stalking a few ppl ;P

For the record..I don’t stalk much..but If I find a subject worth enough to be stalk..then I stalk..hehe..Please note the keyword here is worth..so those guys that I stalked please be honored that I find you worthy..You are with a value..some ppl might say that I am easily pleased..but most of em just don’t get me..haha..Each subject that I choose to stalk is usually very different..no definite patterns *shit, I sound like serial killer..hahaha..

Well actually the ppl you stalk are of course are your crushes..I lost count of how many crushes I have (yerp I have a long list of em) and most of em are boys or men..hahaha..stalking someone from similar gender is very unlikely unless if she is truly gorgeous (shallow I know and am not a lesbian ok ;P) and inspiring..

And here I would like to thank Mark Zuckerberg for his brilliant social network invention. Pretty convenient when it comes to stalking your crushes..Unlike in the old day when..Like high school for instant, well, if you are into a guy..of course your interested to know in getting through the wall that they build around themselves..you wanna know what he’s like, what he likes, what he thinks, does he play ball..does he have a stuff toy..hahaha..You know the usual kind of things that you would want to know..And in order to obtain those kind of info means that you have to pry and being nosy, you get close to his friends to get to know em better..so ended with a tragedy when the boy knows that you have a crush on him..followed by the incident that you blushed every single time you see him and your friends continue to torture you with the matter till the day that you graduated from high school..he’s only a freaking crush ok..haha

And then came friendster, and hell that was a pretty convenient invention only up to the point that they created that one particular apps called “click here to see who view ur profile” so again kantoi bodoh2…I bet back in friendster days, I think all crushes pretty much know that I have a huge crush on them..screw you friendster..*I wonder what ever happened to my friendster acc..hahaha..

Well, now am stalking them on facebook..well even now there are apps that you can actually used to see who sees ur profile..but I think most don’t really care anymore..hehe..

Sometimes you just have to admit, never underestimate the power of having a crush..it helps to keep going in life..when you had a messy day..u feel like kicking, screaming and tear all the soft toy on your bed…u logged into facebook and there he appears in your news feed..and that makes you smile and realize is not a bad day afterall..it feels great when out of nowhere he likes your status and commented on your ‘hey I had a lousy day today’status…your day would brighten up instantly and you would jump and going gugu gaga over that particular comment or likes and brag along the corridor of the hostel telling my hostel mate that he commented or liked ur status..I mean literally..this really happened..might not be that big of a deal..but if he/she is ur crush…admit it..it makes ur day kan kan kan!! Sometimes you just stalk him for the sheer of fun..or just to know whether he had a great day so far or not..Just wanting to know what is he thinking..it’s enough to keep you going…for now the people that I stalked from a few have been narrowed down to 2..hehe..so don’t get scared If I stalked you..be honored as you guys are worthy to be stalked..these are brilliant ppl and I wish em all the best..fun is fun..but I find you guys inspiring and I look up to you guys..so keep up the good work so that I’s continue to stalk you for the next million years..hehehe..I wonder if anyone would find me worthy to be stalked…hehehe..

Till then take care..mmuahhxxx~