Bite,Chew and Crack it~

Anger~

2011-12-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

I have no idea on how to put the things that I am mad about into words..I really have no idea. But I've been holding this in for so long a I feel the need to voice this out.I am truly am mad and pissed. How many times have I told my dear readers to never ever judge a person. I've told you so so many times not to do this. We are mere human and we don't know everything as the rightful one to judge is Allah alone as He is the Almighty and only He alone knows what is hidden, past and future. So why do I still see people doing exactly that?

When it comes to and issue of discussing a women's aurah *amboi bukan kemain la (sinsing lengan baju)*..

I truly understand the good intentions of the person when they brought up the issue..I respected those who has brought up the issue and discussing it in a respectable and kind manner. I wish to thank you for that. For every single advice, noted and we will do our best to observe and improve whatever we need to improve InsyaAllah.

But what I am here to discuss is about this one group of people who irks me and makes my hair stand on its end due to anger. Anger is the feeling I truly hate but I can't help to express it due to the existence of these kind of people.

Tell me whether your way of spreading dakwah is truly the right way?

1) You collected women pictures from the internet, facebook, twitter and any other social sites and I bet you didn't get their permission in the first place anyway.

2) You blurred certain parts of their faces for the sake trying to protect these women from shame (aib).Konon2 la.You already violated their rights in the first place by taking their pictures without any permission.

3) You dared to label the way their tudung with discouraging names.*kalau la aku ni x pakai lagi tudung, aku pun xnank pkai tudung tgk post2 ni*

4) And for every word that they wrote/utter, I can feel that they feel no shame doing it and even feel prouder and arrogant by thinking that you did the right thing.

Well I can tell you one thing hunny, be prepare to testify when you stand before Him in akhirah as you have opened someone's aib and Allah the Almighty and Just will be fully prepared to expose your aib in return.

We should say Alhamdulillah when we see our fellow sisters has taken a big step to cover they're aurah. Be it even if it begins by starting wearing longer pants or more appropriate clothes.

Be it if she start wearing shawls to cover only a part of the hair. Every single thing in life has it's own beginning.Every single thing matters. So why belittle their effort.

When someone has decided to do so, give her time to adapt, when after sometime only then you go up to her to present to her on what is more afdal.

Rather thank labelling a tudung with names like alien, bukit la, nasi lemak la..It's very discouraging and these are the things that discourages our fellow sisters to become a better muslimah.

When a fellow sister is taking that big step in changing into better, we should make them feel more welcome not otherwise.

This is taken from Our beloved sister Wardina status.Welcoming a sister that decided to wear hijab for the very first time =)

I am welcoming our new sister who dared to make the change and put on her Hijab! Sis Aiza... My dua's are with you. Inilah dia sister yg 'dipertikaikan' tempoh hari sewaktu saya paste gambar majlis dan kebetulan ternampak dia dan seorang rakan yang belum memakai hijab. And she did! Thats why I say, "never judge!" Her tweet: "meeting u & e ladies @ YMP OC was life changing" She attended the Open Circle with Young Muslims Project and me :)

I am so happy. It's to Allah we say Alhamdulillah, because everything happens only with His will, and it is He who touches our hearts! Kepada semua di luar sana, jangan berhenti memberi inspirasi. Teringat kata Imam Suhaib Webb, "manusia yg paling baik adalah mereka yang memberi inspirasi untuk melakukan kebaikan" Kenapa Muh Ali dikatakan Muslim yg paling berpanguruh? Kerana dia "inspire people",kerana dia "memberi inspirasi" Tidak! Tidak perlu jadi Ustaz atau Ustazah atau ilmuwan terbilang. Mari berikan Sis Aiza kata perangsang dan sokongan! Moga Hijab kita di kepala juga di hati dengan solat yang konsisten, merendahkan diri dihadapan Illahi... LOVE being a Muslim to the Max! - GAMBAR terpaksa didelete kerana KOMEN TIDAK menyenangkan dari sesetangah dari kita...**orang nak buat baik boleh bagi galakkan tak????Manalah orng tak lari dari Islam kalau komen sangat tidak membantu?

Emphasizing/highlighting some key words 'Never Judge'.

We should be more positive rather than negative. If I have the time I will provide a few links that pisses me off.

Lets make a change. Let me share one of my habits, I like looking and browsing thru videos of talks, discussion that has been posted in facebook but what usually turn me off , are these pendakwah2 who uses harsh words. I know for some people they don't mind but I don't favour these things that much as I have always believe that Allah loves pretty things and pretty words.So sometimes we should consider the words that we utter. Even our beloved Prophet Rasullullah saw (pbuh) are also known for his good akhlaq and kind words. =)

And before I end let me share a dua with you:

Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku lebih baik daripada apa yang mereka sangka dan janganlah di ambil kira dengan apa mereka kata terhadapku, dan ampunkan apa yang mereka tidak tahu.

Ya Allah, please make me better than what they expected of me and never to pay attention or care on their words about me and forgive them for things they don't know.

May Allah protect my fellow brother and sister.

Please take note that even I am struggling to be a better Muslim each day and even you. So why not support one another. Stop the negativity.

Remember, even that small steps matter, so hold the hand and guide them trough the way.

Ok da x marah da. But please please take note.

*ok now you guys are allowed to go and eat candy =)*

Dear Men

2011-12-09T23:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Men,

Do you know what I admire most about you guys?

The friendship/relationship among you guys are amazing.You don't keep things in heart.You guys have nothing to hide.

You settled everything over a fist and resume your friendship as if nothing happens.

You guys easily forgive and forget.

I like that about you men.

Yours truly,

Me who wishes myself (and girls) to be more forgiving and forgetful.

We teach life, sir~

2011-11-16T07:44:00.000-08:00

First tears welled up the corners of my eyes,

But after listening to this over and over again,

I cried

It's amazing how an individual can grow so strong despite the traumatic past she's been through..

listens to her words carefully..Here are some of the highlights that aches my heart..

'i wish i coud wail over their body, i wish i could run barefoot to every refugee and hold every child cover their ears so they wouldn't have to hear the sound of bombing for the rest of their lives the way i do'.

'no matter how good my English gets, no sound-bite , no sound-bite , no sound-bite , no sound-bite will bring them back to life, no sound-bite , will fix this, we teach life , sir we teach life , sir, we -palestinians- wake up every morning to teach rest of the world life , sir' . ..outstanding n spellbinding..I am captivated by this woman~ *nak nangis rase*..take ur time to listen to this~

Back in States I remember being placed in the same class with a lovely Bosnian girl. Back then I never understood why she always cries and ducked under the desk everytime she hears a loud thud..Being kids I remember people make fun of her..I didn't instead I felt sorry for her.We went to the same English class together and I still remember how her beautiful hazel eyes were always welled up with tears..As I gradually grow older I, gradually understood and finally understand the thing she went through and why she acted the way she did..I never see her again after I left States..isk~

May Allah bless her soul and protect her no matter she goes.

*td da mkn MARS =) *

Kill me~

2011-11-15T06:59:00.001-08:00

*bwahahahaha..one of my fav comic strips - Clavin and Hobbes*

Ok people..I know, I know *hand gesture to calm you down*..as much I hated when my favourite blogger goes hiatus..I bet you guys despise me for the same reason too (ok agak bajet glamour and ramai follower ; p )..Go ahead, kill me..*eh bro ngan kayu besbol tu, agak la..jgn bunuh betol2..nnti masuk jel...cool2..hehehe*

Things has been pretty dormant due to various factors (errrr, nk kene explain ke faktor2 itu? *muke inesen*), But hey, I did tell you didn't I, am not gonna post as much as I usually does but I'll try my best..But even now I doubt that people visited this old rusty blog anymore..

The fault was all mine, I'll take full responsibility ..I've seen people who writes and just simply stopped writing..I mean like really stopped..huhu..its a sad sad thing~~

I have always love writing, even though I might not be the best in the world..but at least I tried my best to never ever stop or give up something that I love and enjoy doing..

I promise to always write, write and write..it might not be for others to read but the things documented here are for myself too..

You know one day if I married and I have a husband and kids..

I will bully my husband into writing journals..about him, about what happens in his daily life.

I would also give my kids journals too..each one of em..something for them to write or rant on..they can like write anything be it random, something that they are despised with, boys, girls, crushes, bitches favourite quotes, bad hair day..=) whatever...whether they choose to write or not, it's entirely up to em..I won't force them into something they don't like doing..I'll still love em with all my heart <3

This is because since I was young, when I went through the toughest moments in life, writing is one thing that kept me sane..And I believe the world that my kids are going to live in is about to get even more vicious and cruel and I want my kids to somehow have some sort of an escapism..like I did in writing...=)

As for my husband, I bet you'll guys would wonder, why on earth would I want to bully my husband into writing? I'll bully him into writing even if it means to write down a word to explain his day..ONE word is suffice enough for me..

Well of course I am to write in my very own journals too..Fair and segiempat (square) ~

I believe in life you'll never know who is going to leave you first, but if that day comes where my other half were to part with me, besides than my memories of him that is deeply etched and engrave in that one corner of my mind, at least I have that trace of existence with and just in case I miss him, I would read the things that he wrote over and over again =)

I hope that this won't remain as dreams.Those time are yet to come but I have my plans and somehow hope that it'll be plausible to be excuted..InsyaAllah..

Initially I wanted to change the layout of the blog..but then again I leave it as it is because I am still me and I looove sweet stuff..that is one thing that wouldn't change..

I had my dosage of sweetness today! Have you?

See you guys soon =)

p/s: I do envy those who can tell stories through amazing photos and pictures, these people takes story telling to a whole new dimension and level..since aku x pandai hambek gamba..tulis jer la ;P

Scrapaperclip Giveway.

2011-11-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

Anyone's getting married and wants a free wedding guest book..join in the fun!! walaupun kite x tau lg nk kawen bila kn and u can even indulge urself with other custome made, unique materials and phenomenal product designs~

Btw, I know the owner of the blog and she is penomenal and produce such crazy and insane designs..Join in the fun if you wanna win too~

click here ~ http://www.scrapaperclip.com/2011/11/first-post-ever-personalized-wedding.html

Indulge ppl..btw lame ek x update..maafkan saya...go grab a snickers okeh!!~

(-_-'')

2011-10-02T05:21:00.000-07:00

For every words I utter that portrays my stupidity and insensitivity..

Forgive as please believe me I really never meant it that way..

My heart goes out to you..

Forgive me again..

Spreading love and trying to help as much as I can in my own way~

*I guess this is also one of the main factor why I was never popular back in my high schools and uni days..(-_-'')*

*don't forget to get your dosage of sweets today my gula2 ati*

I beg your forgiveness~

2011-08-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

I may not be the holiest girl to tell you what is right and what is wrong.
I am merely a weak human who sometimes can't help it but to make mistakes.
I hurt heart and souls in the past.
I commit things that I that I am not very proud off.

I may never be the holiest person, but I can assure that I am moving towards the right direction (May Allah protect me from straying away from the righteous path)
For every mistakes and sins I commit, I am determine to fix and repent on it.
For the heart and souls I've hurt, I have already ask for your forgiveness.
And I wish that from to day onwards, I want to be someone that even I can be proud off.

And Ya Allah, being humbled and ashamed, I beg for your forgiveness and I want to convey my deepest gratitude to be able to enjoy this years Ramadhan. You have befalls upon all the obstacles but have I not even once fret as I know that it's Your way to love and reminds me to change for the better.And again, and again, for any misdeeds and sins I commit, I beg for your forgiveness Ya Allah~

Asian Kung fu Generation~

2011-07-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

VuuTV - Watch Video

This one of the songs that I listened to whenever I feel stressed..a song that reminds me of the good ol day...enjoy~

King of anything~

2011-06-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

VuuTV - Watch Video

Enjoy..I love this talented girl..Sarah Bareilles..Enjoy~

Old~

2011-06-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

Hey there, it's been a while isn't it..

Like holy s**t man..We're like midway thru the year already..so many things has happened and many more things are coming up..Like my bro's coming back from Russia (he's in his final year already), my sis got a scholarship to do her medical degree but first she has to enrolled to a foundation programme beforehand which will happen this Monday (following right behind his brother's footstep)..and yes people..wedding bells..my sis is getting married..yeayyyy!!!!...God I miss home..I'll be heading there soon I-Allah..I no longer feel young..it's not that I am old (well i am old actually..haha)..but i feel different..when i hear the news that my sister is getting married, i almost shed tears of joy...Well if you asked me..not just yet..i just want stay like this for a while..even if my ma n pa kinda like nagging saying that it's about time to settle down..i''ll be a liar if i say i don't wanna get married..common its every girls dream, but i think i'm not ready to settle down just yet before i settle whatever my singlehood life requires me to settle..there's so many thing i still wanna explore and i prefer doing this while i am still single..not getting any restraining order from anyone..heheh..

it makes me smile thinking that when i look at my face in the mirror and realize that my pimple scars don't always disappear immediately like it always does in the past..I have to rely on something to make it happen..it makes me feel old but it makes me smile..i don't mind getting old..all i know i wanna age gracefully..but it feels good when someone asked me my age and when i gave the the answer, they wouldn't believe me and tells me i look like an eighteen year old..imagine that..hehehe..i am enjoying life..i have no regrets..the things i let go in the past..i felt glad letting it go cause it not worth to hold on too..so far so good..for someone my age i pretty much have experience almost everything that life has to offer..=)

you do wish that someday, u hoped that things would fall into the right place, magical or miracle things would happen..Well as i grow old, i realize, things will fall into the right places, everything suddenly make sense, like puzzles everything seems to fits well compatible to one another..magical things, miraculous things do happen..fairy tales do come true...but i also understand, in order for these things to happen, you have to work hard for it, sacrifices has to be made..some will get hurt (even you yourself)..but in the end...you'll see things the way i see it now..complaints are not meant to be made audible or documented, instead count ur blessings and record ur happiness and gratitude..

Newton might discover gravity while sitting down doing nothing when an apple fell down from a tree..but he wouldn't really discover gravity if it weren't for that brain of his working out the curiosity over a fallen apple..well Benjamin did get hurt when he discover electricity (and this guy got his face printed on 100 American dollar bill...abis famous da org tue nie)..Edison makes magical thing happen when he invented the phonograph despite the fact that he has hearing problem due to scarlet fever..oh, edison is also famous for inventing the light bulb..hehe..

have fun peeps..it'll do you lots of good!!..=)

bear in mind magical things happens and miracles can happen to anyone!! =)

please also bear in mind, working hard not only to obatained whatever it is that you want to obtain, you also have to work hard in maintaining what you have obtained ;P

have u had u dose of sugar today..i know i have..buhbye!!!~

love u folks!!!~

The white tiger cub~

2011-04-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

During the darkest moment of my life Fauzan Ahmad told me 'Peroz, kadang- kadang dalam hidup kita Allah ambil sesuatu dari kita adalah kerana kita terlalu bergantung harap pada benda itu dan kita ada sedikit memalingkan diri dari Allah, jadi dia ambil itu dari kita kerana dia mahu kita bergantung harap pada Dia kerana hanya pada Dia yang Maha Agung tempat kita bergantung harap'..Terima kasih teman untuk nasihat ini yang akan ku bawa sehingga ajal dtg menjemput..

I remembered words utter by Kartina Aziz in the film Cun, 'Kalau ada Cinta dalam hati kita, maksudnya Allah ada dalam diri kita'..Cinta itu indah dan Allah suka benda2 indah! =)

I the type who don't dream..Dreams are very rare, like diamonds..Very Alien to me.I really just don't dream that much..Years back I've have always sincere pray to Allah,

'If the men existed in my life , if any of them are meant for me, bring him close to me and if not, i'll pray for their happiness and may you grant them Your blessings'..

Never in my life have I prayed so sincerely before.

So one night, I dreamt of this lil white tiger cub, and in that dream it was my most prize possession but something has happen which forced me to gave it away, and after a while I came back to take it back, the lil white tiger cub doesn't recognize me anymore, it even tried to scratch me, clawed me and even bit me. I was so devastated, I cried so hard only to realize that when I woke up tears was streaming down and I was panting so hard and that has never happened to me before..I was surprise and and the aftermath has caused my heart to hurt so bad as if I really had lost the cub..everything felt so real..(T_T)

And because of the dream, it gave me to courage for me to confide to a guy that I really like him.

But in life, things doesn't always goes as you planned.We parted ways. It tore both of us apart. But life has to go on.

After a year I realized I got the whole thing all wrong, When I was soo confident that iIhad it all figured out.I was actually wrong.

I thought the rare white tiger cub was him, I thought it represents a man's presence in my life, but i realize that the lil white tiger cub represents love..

My love for a man a human being and also my love towards Allah s.w.t..

When it turn my back from Allah, even He never leave me, but the path that I had chosen will bring me farther away form Him..

I once heard there was this of this saying, 'A step you take towards Allah, Allah will take a thousand steps towards you.'

He took away my most prize possession but I get Him back in return. He took me away the things I love most is also because He want to teach the felling of losing something , helpless and hurt, I will always have Him to turn too. If I continue to turn my back on Him I will loose Him forever like I lost that lil white tiger cub in my dream.

I am far from being a perfect servant to Him but I will always bear in mind even if I have loose everything in life, lost in any battle, how life beats the life out of me leaving me severely damage and irreparable , He will always be there for me..always there to show me His love and compassion..~

No matter if there is a reservoir/pool of sadness in your deepast darket corner of your heart, always know that it won't remain there as Allah will evaporate it just as long as you look for Him.

It's been a while since I last wrote..but i feel good writing this one down.

I will not post as much as I use too but I'll try okies.

Take care everyone~

2011-03-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Mistakes are something that you can never be proud of, regret consequently follows after each and every one of it, but never stops you from becoming a better person. Second chances rarely comes, but granted to those who deserves it (Me, 2010)~

Misunderstood affection~

2011-03-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

*zaman2 rebellious saya*

How we human are individually unique not only down to the bones but further narrowed to our genetic make up..

And the genetic codes that were expressed varied greatly in individual..that explains why people have brown eyes, blue, single and doubled lid eye, straight, not so straight hair, Maggie curl..hehe

And I would pretty much relate it to the significant difference in an individual on how affections are expressed..

We all have our own way on how we show someone how we truly care for one another. But for some people, the way the convey their affection, often misunderstood by others..

Parents usually falls into the category..their affection are usually misunderstood..

We children usually misunderstand them, esp when we were young, hot blooded and where temper always gives way to insanity and blur our judgement which further leads us to the world of irrationality.

Like me, I use to stupid..I use to hate my parents for being so fierce, rigid and scary.

My ma like she always says, everytime she sees me, ‘anak mama yg sorang ni, lahir senang, nak jaga susah’.

I was a problematic child.

The rumour circulate around my birth that I was supposed to be a boy and my dad had already set to put Muhammad Fairuz for my name and when my may deliver me, a girl, Muhammad was replaced by Siti..(ok xder kene mengene)

I hated my parents for wish to have someone elses parents are mind..or even wishing they were someone else.

Do you know that research by some researcher n the Sates discovered, almost 80% of teenagers wish that they parents were someone else..or wishing they had someone else’s parents.

So I guess I was normal to have gone through the deepest darkest and most rebellious days of my life.

But as I grew up I now understand it just the way my parents show their affection and it varies greatly among different families.

Nobody’s perfect right, even our parents. I might not be the luckiest girl to have a fun set of parents, but I was greatful that they brought me up the way they did because if not I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.

The fierceness, rigidity is their way of showing affection and how I wish I would be more to obliged my parents in the past, be more kinder to them making it easy. I regret for all tears that I made my mother shed for me. But I do promise that I’ll be a better daughter for my parents. Always to let them know that I love them and thanked them for bringing me up the way that did.

Tell the ones you love that you love them before it’s to late.

Because when you love someone it’s natural that you tell them.

Have a nice! =)

Jar of Hearts -Christina Perri

2011-03-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

2011-03-06T00:14:00.001-08:00

Some lessons that I learned in life, I had to learned it the hard way but that doesn't make me feel any less lucky..It might be hard, difficult and painful, leaving scars all over, but scars is a form of imperfect beauty and sexy too.So be proud! (Me, 2011)~

2011-03-05T00:41:00.000-08:00

There is nothing mechanical when it comes to love, Love is spontaneous and it comes naturally (Me, 2011).

Love~

2011-02-22T05:35:00.000-08:00

Falling in love to a song is pretty much similar when you fall in love to person, it capture your attention at the first key of the melody, took your breath away with it's lyric and not listening to it makes you miss it so much even you just finished listening to it a few seconds ago..A lot like love huh? (Me, 2011).

When I die young by the Band Perry is my new Obsession~

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

*Teary eyed*

2011-02-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

I don't know what is it with you youngster in wanting to document your every thoughts in facebook but be a lil more selective because not all are diamonds as some thoughts are best left unpublished or make it inaudible (unreadable) - (Me, 2011)~

2011-02-18T07:40:00.001-08:00

I was once asked by someone 'So tell me, what have you learned from your previous r/ship?' I answered 'There are some man who finds self sufficient (indepedent) woman unfavourble because it'll make him appear less heroic. They like to play superhero saving the damsel in distress' giggle - (Me, 2011)

Magesh~

2011-02-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

I once read this somewhere,

'The origin of wealth is the mind and not the money'

When was the last time you feel inspired? Well if you asked me? I would say tonight..=)

Magesh, a beautiful Indian name belongs to a beautiful Indian girl..

Always bumped into her at the corridor of the hostel the most words exchange between us was..

'Hey,How are you.. '

Only tonight my friends and I had the chance to engage into a loooong conversation with this lovely lady..

I've never met anyone who is so focus in life before..someone with a definite goal. .someone who is so sure of what she wants and full of passion..

(Well actually, I am surrounded with a several strong independent ladies in my life who are not scared to brave the world and embrace the uncertainty of the future..Like Sri (I call her Meh and in Looe, UK), Ati (budak kecik bijak, workaholic), Iati (my rummie, workaholic n kaki bisnes)..)

But then again, when you have a goal in life, nothing is uncertain..

Which made me think and made me feel the need to really restructure my goals on life..What is it that I want to achieve in life..to rekindle the spirits and passions that are loss..

Magesh, from what I've learned from her stories, gave up her job, her savings to further her studies..

And said to us 'Malu la nk mintak duit form your parents sebab kita da besar'

And she doesn't simply settled for anything less..

Believing that learning new things in life won't stop her track in fact will take her far and wide..

A hard working girl who would spent six months finishing a book to grasp the real meaning of research.

A girl who would unselfishly spent all of her money to attend conferences, greedy to gain knowledge and to build a network so in the future, she won't have to be clumsy or panic when she'll further her studies in PhD ... always a step ahead of the game in planning her future..and there were also time that she attended a conference without no apparent reason and all that she wanted to do was learn..gain, gain n gain..

The world was like a huge classroom for her...believe that learning a constant process and there's no definite end to it..

Money has never been the problem for her as she has constantly chanted in mind that it is attainable

taking up odd jobs at Dome, tutoring kids even if it means she has to travel an hour and half by bus to get to the destination..

She taught me the true meaning of the phrase 'You are in control of your money'..

And She is in Love with her research..

I am inspired...

I feel ashamed having to admit how shallow I was, cause a few moment before we had this long chat with Magesh, I still think that money is important in life when it's actually not..it's not everything..how many of us stop dead in our track in gaining knowledge by giving financial constrain as an excuse..

But that's gonna change this instant..

I hope you would change that too..and please please please..find the things that you love to do..because when you're in love and talked about the things that you're in love with..You sparkled..Like diamond..And I would love to see EVERYONE sparkle..And Magesh was like this lovely diamond that I discover that shines brightly and can't help to feel affected by the shine..

Go ahead, brave the world...Cause I am about to gather all the pieces of courage in me so that I can also brave the world and be fearless!!..

are you with me..if you are..Come on..Let's walk with me hand in hand..=)

If you feel tired a long the way, we can always stop for some hot choc and move on when energies are restored..hehe..

Jom!~

For a start, asked yourself, how far would you go in order for you to achieve your dream!!~

A little serious~

2011-02-10T00:56:00.000-08:00

I guess it's true what they say, in order to be a good writer, instead of using your head, don't forget to guide it with your heart, with a sound mind and be transparent (truthful), by being vulnerable, the reader will somehow get what are you trying to convey and portray.Some would even cursed to give a masterpiece a more dramatic effect, but hey, different people have different style of writing and different drama sense (Me, 2011).

Was taken aback by a blogger style of writing..a genius but I find some of his piece are pretty disturbing (In a good kinda way..hehe)~

That's all for now..C ya guys later..lets go get some sweets!!~

Jgn jadi Simon Cowell Malaysia~

2011-01-26T00:29:00.000-08:00

Being young you can't help it to be judgmental and shallow..Back then I was shallow and judgmental giving some unpleasant/jengkel remarks..

For instance..

'Pergh, seksi siot minah tu..mak die x ajar ape2 ker..'

'pergh, bro tu tindik telinga..siap ade tatoo..Melayu, Islam plak tu..'

But as I grew older, In a way, not in a the position to praise myself, so don't get me wrong =P..I grew wiser, trying to see things from a different perspective..You probably asked me how much wiser have I become..but let me teach you on how to look at things differently and respect them for who they are...as bad as they seem..like I told over and over again..is not our righteous place to punish people. As the right to punish this humble servant belongs to Allah alone.

Sometimes we have to remember that for some people, they are not as lucky we are..being granted adequate knowledge..When I was young parents knew somehow there are some Islamic knowledge they weren't able to convey, they sent me and my sis to religious school and when we stopped going due to the lack of religious school at that articular area we moved in, my parents would hired a religious teacher to teach us what we needed to know..Enough knowledge for me and my siblings to carry on in the future..

For me and my sibling we had our fair share of blessing from Allah.

But as I grew older, meet a lot of people.I talked to them and get to know the differences (and respect it) and among these individual that I bumped into I realize, not everyone were born to be a queen bee.Furthermore, we have to remember, there are many reasons for some people act the way they are.

For some individual, the path they have gone through are very patchy..For instance, having ignorant parents who don't bother to teach what they need to know..or some have been spoiled beyond repair (which lead to to lead a limitless and boundless life)...some just live in the community that don't provide these kinda knowledge, lacking in qualified religious teachers and in the end suppresses their ability to learn all the essential knowledge that God has made it compulsory to learn for every Muslim.

And due to the above, results in breeding of ignorance in the heart of a certain individual. Don' t get disheartened by the story as there are individual that Ive see had undergone some amazing transformation, some are just dramatic and unbelievable, and they are even better than we are.One of the biggest factors that lead to the phenomenal transformation is because they are blessed to have amazing friends who never discriminate them and taught them what they needed to know...Some people have to be an ugly caterpillar before transforming into a lovely butterfly..

with this people, isolation and discrimination won't do them any good..

Just be friends with everyone and get to know the history of their life that had been deeply etched in their souls..but one souls won't forever the way they are because I believe one's souls are like Play-Doh or clay, It can be molded into any shape..a better and prettier shape.

So let's just be friends with everyone and if you so happened to realize there are someone who is unlucky, turn their fate to lucky by holding out a helping hand and guide to them.

So stop being Cowell and lets jadi Abdul or Jackson.

*is thinking to have snickers for tonight dinner..aci x??*

I realy need to do this~

2011-01-20T21:56:00.000-08:00

Like in the past year,

I don't have any major resolutions that I would want to fulfill..

Instead setting up some small reso that are achievable nearly possible..

But since in the past I've been having some weight problem..

Yeah, I know for some people you might think it's some sort of paranoia..

But am telling you, it's for the sake of my well being..

The reason to loose weight my note solely based on the aim to look slim and skinny..

It's more like getting in shape..or in other words, the aim is to stay fit..

But for those who has experience some major transformation in life..they agreed that it has also do affect their self esteem..they've become more confident..

But I would like to stress out to never that light of things like this..

It scares me hearing stories that people died at a very young age and most of them due to health complication like heart failure, strokes..and even cancer.

I know the matter of life and death are not a human matter to predict or control..but as we Muslim knows that what is given to us are all loan form Allah, more like amanah...and the least we could do is take good care of it so when we return it the rightfull owner, of course you want to return it in a very good condition..

My reso is trying to shed some kilos...if i don't go swimming, i might go for a jog or go out play some fun games like badminton..Also planning to cut some portion of every meal that I have..The aim is to cut the portions and not to skip meals..Planning to keep a food journal..jotting down every single thing that I eat everyday..hehehe~

I know many of you are with me..

Leave some comments or share any of your health secrets with..you're comment are like diamonds to me..thank you for even reading this random babble..

Let's live health people...hehehe~

Inherited~

2011-01-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

Y.E.S, no am not anwering any question

But when it comes to this YES every single girl in this part of the Globe specifically Malaysia, we speak the same language...hohoho..Year End Sale..

But here in Penang, at this time of the month, me and my gorgeous girlfriend would run wild..I mean realy went WILD..the reason behind our wildness is definitely Metrojaya Warehouse Sale..

I simply love this warehouse sale because I can shop for my family..Last year I didn't get the chance to do so becuase I saved up all the money and used it to pay my PTPTN loan..yeay..huhu..

After I borong lots of stuff for my sis and family I went down an isle which is the men section and I fell in love with a few men shirt that I believed would look stunning on Papa (lgpun jarang beli barang untuk papa)..so I give him a ring..because I want to ask for the size..But it was my Mama who answered the phone,

'Assalamualikum ma, ma adik nak tanya papa pakai size ape ek'

'Walaikumsalam, size, x yah la beli untuk papa, jari papa tu pende,kembang kembang cam jari adik, biar papa beli sendiri la kasut...'

*in the background I heard papa laughed out loud*

'Ark, jari kembang mcm adik, mama adik bukan nk belikan papa kasut, saiz baju la mama'

'mama ingatkan kasut td, kalo baju saiz M or S'

*M or S, lihat la betapa fit nye papa ku itu..hehehe*

*so the story was, a few days back, borak ngan mama, ade tny mama what papa wanted for his birthday, because me and sis haven't gotten him any bday prezzie this year and he said papa wanted a new pair of shoe..mama ingt adik nk belikn kasut la gamaknye..hahaha*~

In conclusion, I am daddy's lil girl, they say I am so much like father and that includes jari pendek kembang kembang..sabar jer la...hahaha~

*I had Cadbury roasted almond yesterday...cloud nine*

A letter to someone notifying him that I screwed up~

2011-01-03T05:49:00.000-08:00

*am sorry I just find the photo lovely and wanted to share with all of you (xder kene mengena with the post)*

Dear unknown,

Remember that competition that I told you about..

Well I kinda screw the whole thing up due to some miscommunication..just so you know, I screwed up during the selection process..so to cut the story short, I didn't get selected.

But the outcome turns out to be not as devastating as it was suppose to because you told me whatever it is that I was suppose to talk about, I should enjoy the whole process and I did, I even made that professor laugh(I even manage not to look and sound like a clown) and he kind of complimented me on my English my together with impromptu presentation..hahaha..

So I wanted to say thank you..wherever you are..don't stay hidden for to long as I miss your writings.

Truly,
Pumkin Peroz.

A letter to someone I once knew~

2010-12-21T18:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Kesayangan ku,

I have to write this even if it somehow will hurt you.But I just have to let you know how I feel and how much we miss that old lil girl that we used to teased 'all that matters to her is money'.
I Love that girl, but where did that girl go. Because the last time I saw her, she was someone I hardly knew..or maybe I don't know her at all.

Let me tell you what I think about love. You might wanna accuse me that I know nothing about love, but I've been in love, I once fell and it took me sometime to get back up again and it'll cost me forever to forget.

Love is when you take things slow. Love is nothing about fast and rush.

Love is about give and take. Not only one side giving and the other taking.

Love is rational. The one who is not rational is we humans.

Love is never blind. We humans are.

Love doesn't conquer all.That' a myth.

Love is no fairytale. Love is something that you have to work for not simply sit and it will run smoothly.

Love is amorphous and undefinable, but it can conform into different shapes and adaptable.

Love teaches us about respect and protect.Protecting the ones that we have taken under our wing (especially to men).

Love makes you glow.A woman is the prettiest when they are truly in love.

I know how amazing it feels to be love and wanted dear.Believe me I know.

The day that you cried was only the small portion of my sadness that I felt.

Remember when you told me how you hate Twilight but you love the valedictorian speech that was given away...

'fall in love alot, makes lots of mistakes and when the time comes you'll know what you want to be'

But there are limit to making mistakes and every mistakes that you make, you're bound to pay an expensive price for it.

I know you want to know about the world, I don't mind, But do it the right way.

I know that you want to fall..but let me tell you something..Everyone falls eventually, but when they landed, there are several degrees of injuries that they have to withstand..Might be mild, might be severe and sometimes might be deadly.

Don't get me wrong, I will be there for you when you need me. That's a fact.

But what if you fall and you can't get back up again.My heart will wretched..and later I will still be there for you but I don't want to be helpless and hating myself for not to being able to reverse the time and unchanged the mistake that you once made.

Remember when you had a crush with that guy in your office.I like you a lot more when you were involved with him.Because even when you came back to us. You are still you.And you don't even have to pretend when you are in front of him.

But with this guy.When you came back to us.You are not you.You kept so many things hidden.Your words are twisted.To sum it up, You are not you.

I know now you wouldn't listen because you're stubborn as an ox.

But all I can see now is that you are in love with the idea of being in love and not the guy.

I can see when you're with him, somehow you have to restrained yourself from being you and I think that's selfish.

But I still know no matter what I say, You won't listen.

I am not gonna stop you, but I am not gonna encourage you either.

I love you and I want you to know that. We all do.We all miss the old you.

We are still us and we are still gonna be here for you.

Yours truly,
A friend who doesn't want you to fall.

Kawaiiiii~

2010-12-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Cheap Pop Song from Rhett Dashwood on Vimeo.

Bumped into this cute video and feels like sharing it..hehe

Enjoy!!~

Kacang Soya~

2010-12-19T05:47:00.000-08:00

*Mr Kacang Soya killer smile reminds me of him..hehe*

It's past my birthday and feels like doing some story telling..well not a fairy tale to be exact..just something that made me and my friends laugh our hearts out..

A few months ago I kinda bump into this cute creature (sebernarya saye rase die ensem..hehe~)..

So if there is that day that I would feel bored browsing at my friends and my own facebook, I would drop by his page just to have a look at that cute lil face..haha..

I told my friends bout this guy..they would laugh at me and say

'Piyuz memag dasar stalker'

And that got me laughing too..hehehe..

So there is this one day, a few days before my birthday..I just don't remember when..I just had a feeling to drop by his page..so there was my rummie, caught me red handed..and she mocked and smiled..

'oh common, enough with the stalking already, add him up already'...

'should I' I asked innocently (inesen la sgt kn..haha..more like seeking for approval)

'Just give it a shot..whether he adds you or not...pikir kemudian'

So I finally gather the courage , sucking a huge gulf of air and viola..I push that 'ADD AS FRIEND' button..

So I waited nervously for a few days..but still no respond..

I shared that personal concern of mine with my rummie..she told me..

'Try and checked when did he last posted something on FB'

and what we found out was that he changed his name to Kacang Soya...

and that got me wondering..does that has anything to do with me??*perasan sungguh..like he notice my existence plak..hahaha*

'Weyh, die da tuka name to kacang soya la' I laughingly told my rummie..

'Tu la you, stalk die sangat..kan die da tukar name..die takut kt you tu..' my friend further joked..

she then continued and laughed again,

'You, try la add him lagi sekali..this time you change your name to kacang menglembu'

I laughed hard..and accept that suggestion wholeheartedly..so I did try and change my name to kacang menglembu..but it failed..FB won't allow it..it even mentioned that:

1) you have to use your real name

2) That the number of attempt to get your name change are limited

3) once you exceed a limit you may never change the name ever again

so I kinda freaked out what if my name got stuck with kacang menglembu forever..If my ma knows sure she'll get pissed (sbb my ma rajin gak check her children fb trhu my youngest sis fb..ahahah)..name elok2 bagi tukar jadi kacang plak..

So to cut the story short, I didn't get my name changed even if i did tried and I didn't add him again..

My friend laughed and said,

'da da la tu, not meant to be'

I laughed with her and said..

'yeah, we better stop'

To mister kacang soya, just wanna say sorry if i freaked you out in anyway..My fb status a few days back:

'He has a killer smile but he just doesn't know yet'..was meant for you..just if you don't know it..that smile of your is realy something..hahaha..

It's makes me feel good doing all this thing while I can you know and somehow considering the whole thing as a birthday present to myself..My courage level was taken up to a new level (i think it did..rase mcm super mario naik size bdn lepas amik cendawan..hohoho)..which was pretty cool for a gurl who has no guts...hehe~

I had fun..well, so happy birthday to me and all the best to Mr. Kacang Soya...hahaha..

Thank you rummie and freinds for the encouragement..hahaha..~

Thank you Mr Kacang Soya for even existing..hehehe~

The prank stops here I guess..hehehe..~

Moral of the story is Kacang Soya baek untuk kesihatan kita..hohohoho~

*had a lil bite of magnum almond and found out that it is exquisite..yummy..found myself a new obsession..oh..saya penggemar tempe juga..teheee*

This is for You~

2010-12-12T04:21:00.000-08:00

*love is free and so is my hug..come give me a hug (meant for the people I love n care)*

I was once hurt and damage beyond repair and I wish for the ones I love will never travel the road that I had once taken..But if the road is meant for you to travel will blossom you into a beautiful strong person, let me walk behind you so when you turn back..You'll see me and know that I will always be there for you...Fear not...You'll never be alone~

Mama says~

2010-12-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

*I realy like his character in the drama*

My ma once said, 'Kalau tengok cerita kt tv /movie tu,jgn la tgk jer, amik pengajaran..all of the events in the movies and dramas are actually derived from the real life situation, it is an exagegrrated version of reality'

Which is true..How can all those movie makers producers come up with all the creative ideas if not it's something that they actually seen it in real life and exaggerate it a lil bit...bada bing bada boom...money making machine..hehehe~

I like the character of Park Kyu in the Tamra The Island drama..so can I at least believe a man this kind actually exist in real life but in a form of little less exggeration..I hope a man like him does exist in this world...Tp nk cari kt mane..

This is more like a day dreaming post..forgive my shallowness..I am a girl after all..it's been ages I haven't found a new obsession after Hugh Jackman and Aaron Aziz..hehe..Now..Park Kyu (Im Ju Hwan is the real name)...wehuuuuuuu...~

Btw, I've been getting swimming lessons from Pkacik Zainoba..and now I can proudly say..I can swimm..yehuu..no more fear towards water..only fun fun fun..and a way for me to burn excessive and unwanted calories I've been consuming..and I can actually feel the difference...healthy and fit..wehuuu..and I can do 2 non stop laps without stopping...yeahhhhaaa~

Good day everyone..and don't forget to take that dosage of candy to make you feel happy..hehe~~

Insignificant~

2010-12-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

*gambar yg xder kena mengena tp nk share jugak..hehe*

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's better that you do it - Mahatma Gandhi

I first bump into the quote when I watched the movie Remember Me. Well, I teman a friend to watched it because this friend of mine is a huge fan of Mr Pattinson.hehehe. I was surprised knowing that Mr. Bond (Brosnan) was also one of the cast in the movie..The movie was nothing that I expected. huhu.

I once posted this quote before in my blog but I kinda have forgotten what it was about.

I have a friend saying that she was dissapointed, after two years if research she finds her results insignifcant. Then I told her, insignificant is not a bad thing, it actually indicates something and it somehow tell you something. In research, if the results are insignificant, it somehow tells you something is wrong with the methods/ experiments that has been utilized.

In statiscal analysis, when you want to study the before and after effect of something, insignificant results indicates that there is no difference between the before and after of something. Thus, null hypothesis is not rejected. Which also tells you something.

So why is it that being insignificant is bad? It tells you things doesn't it. You might find it unimportant but it still tells you something.

Why do I still hear the someone still find themselves insignificant? Is being insignificant really that bad? Why? do you think that you have to be somebody big, rich and famous to help those who are in need. Even in our religion Islam taught us, if you can lend a hand, hand over something you can hand over (kemampuan).If you don't have that big bucks, then hand over some clothes that you no longer wear, blankets to keep them warm, food to feed their hunger and if you don't have all that, give them some word of encouragement and prayers. Insignificant as it may seem, but on the other side, the accepting, the hands that takes, it means a world to them.

If you realy want to make a difference, the first thing that you have to do is to love yourself. In Islam also mentioned, love your fellow brothers like how you love yourself. If you don't know how to love yourself that how are you suppose to love your fellow brother.

Insignicant is not nothing, it is something.

I sometimes do find myself insignificant, but you'll feel the significance of your existence if you are in the right crowd (family and friends) because somehow, they feel empty and they misses when you are not around.hehehe.

Even small things can make one big difference..=)

*Can teh tarik to be classified as candy, because it gives me the same oblivion feeling when I eat candy, chocolate and pastries*

Adibah Noor~

2010-11-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

*A picture extracted from the video defining Halal..Oh by the way..kt sebelah die tu Pn. Ong, my fav character in the vid*

When you mentioned the name above you have to admit that you just have to love her..

Last Saturday when I watched the Shout Awards 2010 (Repeat Show)..I have to admit how I admired the confidence and aura that she exudes..A lil envy too on how she carries herself so proudly not having to care what other thinks of her..

Having not to get intimidated by her partner at the moment who is Ning Baizura, I found her 10 times beautiful compared to Ning..Clad in a black blouse, a pair of jeans and a lil hint of make up..she still looks amazing and rocking the crowd..I think in a way she over shadowed Ning even if she was so glamorous looking with her heavy make up and sexy dress..hehehe.

She was once told by a entertainment company, in order for her to succeed in the indsutry she has to loose some weight, but she refuse to give in into the shallow perceptions and emerge into one impressive and well respected entertainer who she is now..

She lately had been elected to become to spoke person for many products, awareness campaigns and many more (the latest I watched was the Defining Halal video that I manage to dig out of facebook..memang la memcahkan perut).

When you watched her on air, the only thing that you focused on was the thing that she has to say and she realy gets you to listen..Who says that you need a gorgeous ladies to get the message across..some times it the message didn't get across because pretty girls are actually a distraction..(jgn marah..but it's true)..people would forcus more on them rather on the message that the ad was suppose to convey..betol x?..hehehe~

Where ever can you find a genius like this one..And I love her when she hosted the Spell It Right Challenge Competition...She makes the lame spelling bee comp into a pretty fun playground..heheh~

And I am just proud that many Malaysians has pass through the stage that only prettiness can realy live in the real world..We're moving ahead and I am somehow proud..breaking the habit and freeing yourself from the usual norm ain't an easy task, but the unusual sometimes is pretty fun too...you get to see things from a different perspective and understanding more what it's realy like to be in someone elses shoe right?~

Labels are for clothing but not for people, so stop stereotyping because every indvidual is unique in their own way!~

*Just had an amazing wedding cake, yummy~*

A short pose~

2010-11-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

*smile*

How I wish that the are LIKE buttons in here so I can utilize it to show someone how much their comments affected me..

your comments makes me smile..

Thank you, commenting, dropping by or even passing by..

I think you guys are wonderful!~

*I think mentos is one pretty cool invention in the candy industry*

The One~

2010-11-22T07:41:00.000-08:00

''Kalau you tak boleh nampak bodoh depan orang yang you sayang, depan siapa lagi??'' - Gigi Besi (Fakir), Pisau Cukur.

If you know that you found THE ONE..you would agree with the above statement..

Because in front of him you don't have to pretend or be whoever that you are not..

It's not that I am in love at the particular moment, Just a little advice to those who are in a relationship...

A healthy relationship will make you blossomed into someone beautiful, a better person..

Sebab tu orang2 tua selalu kate..

'Wanita adalah paling cantik bile mereka di lamun cinta..berseri'

To any of my darlings, forgive If I some what not able to fulfill your invitation but always know my prayers goes to you guys and you partner..It'd not easy finding him/her in the first place, so cherish every moment that you have with each other..love, toleration and patience is the key word...Don't forget to invite me for your baby showers...Love you guys to bits~

*Congratulations to my cousin on your wedding..she's lovely!..have a blissful marriage..didn't get the chance to take a bite of your wedding cake...darn it..wedding bells can be heard miles away...bnyk betol weddings approaching this year end..love love everywhere*

Resentment~

2010-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

*Sri Norfitriani Mohamed Shukry*

Tidakkah mendedah dan menyebar kejahilan org sama seperti kita menyebar aib mereka..Jgn terlalu lantang bersuara apabila kita juga tahu masih banyak kerompongan diri yang perlu di tampal~

This was my facebook status a few days back..the sole reason I wrote the status is because I was pretty much disappointed to almost all human beings that existed in the facebook community..

And a friend responded the status by giving this comments...

'Sri Norfitriani Mohamed Shukry : it is in every culture. breaking the habit is not an easy task, but we must always try to lead by example.. how about starting with jgn busybody dan no mengumpat? :) miss talking to you!'

I have always love this girl from the bottom of my heart..because whenever I talked to her, when I see her, I can be myself, she never judge and pretty damn honest when she talks about something and everything..She seem to know what I am thinnking, she seems to get me..I think this is what you harvest from a lifetime of friendship with someone (dari zaman hingusan lg dengan budak nie)..Though she is miles away, I know she'll be there whenever I need her. =)

Back to the main issues, is not that I mind that people are disseminating information or dakwah around, but I resented the way they are spread..I mean, is it realy good? for people sharing some videos regarding on someones kejahilan (ignorance) and leaving some pretty damn eye soring comments like as if they live their whole world doing good and heaven are guaranteed for them in the afterlife..

Hate to break this to you, it's not you who have the right to judge people..those comment that you guys leave hoping that it'll make you look scholarly and pious would only further reflect you stupidity and your ignorance as well I tell you.

If you realy want to do goodness to the world, You've got to do it the right way, with the right word.

Allah is great and kind..You never know, cause sometime even the smallest deed will lead your way to heavens door..Remember the story of the compassionate prostitute who uses her shoes to gave a thirsty dog to drink...Her sincerity brought her to heavens door even without her having to knock on it...That is how kind Allah is.=)

Check on yourself before you say or jugde something..I never dare to judge anyone cause I know even I have so many holes that needs to patched up.

This is my personal space where I pour my personal resentment and personal thoughts. I would like to apologize if I hurt anybody because that is not my intention.Just hoping that you guys would see things from a different perspective, from my perspective.

Have a nice day you all!~

*Juliet once told me 'No wonder you're so sweet, because you like to eat sweet things'..auwwww..(mode presan kejap)*

Babushka Frenzy Ad~

2010-11-10T17:22:00.000-08:00

Babushka is a woman's headscarf folded into a triangle and tied under the chin; worn by Russian peasant women..in case if you guys are wondering what it is...hehehe~

I just find the word cute and somehow hoping to capture your attention..hehe

Liking the shawls that you've seen in the picture above and hoping to have it..do visit:

www.pinsnbuttons.blogspot.com

I've been with this girl since day one and loving all the shawls that she sell...In fact, I've been getting shawls for every edition that she came out with..I've even bought a few syria's for my mom from her..hehehe...wanting to share the pretty wonders with my dear readers..have fun browsing..hehehe~

*Do you know : Bubble gum was invented by Frank Henry Fleer in 1906, but was not successful; the formulation of Fleer's "Blibber-Blubber," was too sticky. In 1928, Walter E. Diemer invented a superior formulation for bubble gum, which he called " Double Bubble."*

Sigh~

2010-11-09T00:22:00.000-08:00

*Good laughs - Juliet Ooi and Azrin Adrina Graduation Album - Photograher: Nooriati Taib*

I heard her sigh..

Then I smiled and told her,'Hey, don't sigh..it's not good for you'

She asked, 'Why?'..

I continued 'Someone once told me, if you sigh, the level of your IQ will drop by several points'

She said 'OOO, realy never heard of that one before'

I further add 'Tu la, I bet if you stopped sighing like ages ago, you would be Genius like Einstein, know you're stuck at CLEVER'

She laughed and said 'Tu la kan, I used to be a genius rupanya..'

Than we laughed together..hehehe

Miss sharing intelligent and sophisticated jokes with you..can't wait to see you this weekend Juju...Seems like when I make jokes only our clans would understand it...In other words, you guys get me~

And everytime I bumped into a genie or Aladdin lamp, my thoughts would straight wander away and think of you...cause you once told me...If a genie grant you a wish, you would wish for a hundred more wishes, and fyi, and I think that anwers is plain genius and I don't feel that you're stuck at CLEVER....Hehehe..~

Just wanna say, I am surrounded by geniuses - Nooriati Taib (Art, Design and Business Genius) Juliet and Azrin (writing genius) Naddy (Pharmaceutical Genius) Winda (Natural Resources and Business Genius), Sarah (Environmental and Make up genius)..hehehe~

Shoot~

2010-11-05T02:28:00.000-07:00

*no that kid is definetly not me..hehe~*

It's been so long since I felt like a kid..

Which part of being a kid you asked?

A part where you don't have to worry what other people say about you and just do whatever you wanna do..no matter how ridiculous that thing might be..You just go for it..nothing can bring you down or make you feel disheartened by any remarks from any external sound maker..

One of my must do list that is learning how to shoot some hoops or learn how to play football on real field..

So there I was waiting for some our midnight movie (Takkers) with my date that night Misz Naddy..There has been some slight problem made us watched that midnight show and forced us to wait for a few hours.

Then while prancing around the mall I saw some crowd watching some kid shooting some hoops at an arcade. I told Naddy it seems like fun and I manage to convinced her to go get some tokens and shoot some hoops..But getting the tokens weren't easy as we have to pass a large group of males that crowded the place like bees swarm over the bee hives...but we did it anyway..

And we shoot some hoops and boy we got addicted..we turned out passing our time shooting hoops and later realize that we were the only head covered female in the arcade ..hohoho but we braved the crowd anyway even if we attracted some awkward stares from the people around..

After we were satisfied shooting some hoops we just realize there is a huge crowd of guys behinds us were watching our antiques...well we were in an awe and embarrassed at the same time but the guys seem to give us some admirable stare (mostly chinese)..Seems like we were realy good..and that made me feel like a kid again, being impulsive and not giving a shit what others has to say..If you feel like doing it just do it..hehehe...so I guess, am not gonna stop there..I wanna shoot hoops on the real court and we already have our list of potential coach..hehehe..

It's not to old or to late to learn new stuff and enjoy it...So for you guys out there go shoot some hoops and chase you dreams..no matter if its bungeee jumping, rock climbing paragliding, river rafting, ballet dancing, swimming the seven seas...no matter how insane it might sound..I would say GO FOR IT and HAVE FUN!!Break a leg all you gorgeous people out there and dare to dream!!~

*gotta say I am pretty much in love with the new layout..enjoy the sweetness you guys, bite chew and crack it*

2010-10-17T18:27:00.001-07:00

Raising children is tough, why?

If you have a daughter, all your life you have to worry the minute she is out of your sight.

If you have a son, the toughest thing to teach are responsibilities, commitment and how to respect women.

Prayers~

2010-10-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah,

Setiap hari dalam doaku ku pinta pada-Mu,

Ajarlah hambaMu erti kerendahan hati, kesedaran dalam kekurangan diri,
Dan ingatkanlah hamba-Mu ini, bukan tempatnya untuk dia menilai dan meghukum manusia,
Hanya Engkau sahaja yang berhak menilai dan meghukum manusia,
Sesungguhnya, hanya Engkau yang maha mengetahui segala rahsia hati dan pemegang segala ketentuan hamba-Mu..

Ku pohon lagi agar engkau jauh kan la aku dari berperasangka buruk kepada manusia yang lain..
Ajarkanlah aku bagaimana menghulurkan bantuan kepada mana saudara yang memerlukan,
Jadikanla aku seorang yang pemurah, tidak mengharapkan apa balasan kecuali dalam mencari keredhaan Mu..

Ingatkan la hamba-Mu jikalau dia lalai dan terlupa..

Maafkan la segala dosa..Sesungguhnya aku adalah hamba-Mu yang hina dan penuh dengan cela..

Amin~

2010-10-12T01:22:00.000-07:00

After having to go through two weeks of agony with insomnia, I just discovered I don't have a decent pair of HEELS~

Whack it~

2010-10-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

*budak kecik itu bukan saya*

it was 1996, my first of school in Sabah..I hate it that day, I even hated the fact that the whole family was forced to move here in the first place..well, that was what we always do since the first day I was born..pindah randah..nomadic family we are...huhu..the week before, after we settled in Sabah in a very luxurious home i say (beacause the house was quite big and full furnished..huhu..)..but i was still wounded by the fact having to move and left all my dearest friends behind..ok melalut lg..where was I, oh yes, after a week we settled in my mom went through all the trouble looking for bus that would send us back and fro to school.And it was my first time having to venture through school all alone as my sister was in her first year of high school. The school was divided into 2 huge group, elementary lower(darjah 1 - darjah 4) and elemantary upper (dajah 5 - darjah 6)..so elementary lower leh balik awal la...recess awal, you get what i mean la..walaupun we're in the same school we realy don't get to see much of each other..huhu...

so the school finally ended, i have always hated first day, having to go through the agony of people staring at you like u are some kind of alien or something ...so there i was waiting at the school canteen all by myself (hey, it was my first day, don't expect me to make like a bundle of friends..isk)..half an hour passed me by and the school canteen was nearly empty and deserted leaving me and some kids around...I panicked with the thought that the school bus had actually left me stranded there..what should i do..what if i get kidnapped, what if i bumped into an alien..kalo tetibe harimau lalu...(ok, exagerrating as usual la kn..kate budak2, imaginasi tinggi la sket.da la dulu2 mane ade handphone)..so i gave the bus another 5 minutes and still it didn't show up..I was determine..i gather all the information in my head trying to put the of maps together..the way back to my home (pikir balik gerun la sbb dari dulu mmg my sense of directions sucks..huhu)..but i did it anyway..i walked home which if i am not mistaken around 5 kilometer from my house..

when i reached home, i was soaking wet with sweat..when i enter the house my mama asked..

'adik da balik, bas ok x.?'

i answered..

'ok jer' (pdhal tipu jln kaki balik rumah...)

i went straight upstair to avoid any further interrogation, takut kantoi...mandi and change my clothes..tetibe..mama jerit..

'ADIKKKKKKKK!!!! TURUN!!!'

ape plak ni..so i went downstair..then i saw the bus right in front of my house..muke driver pucat ingtkn i hilang...ALAMAL KANTOI...muke i pn pucat sekali la...aduhhh..mmg nasib x baek btol..isk~

mama kt tgn da pegang batang penyapu...GULP..

'ADIK JALAN KAKI BALIK RUMAH?????'

dah katoi nk wat cmner lg...i nod...aunty bas already left and mama kejar satu rumah dgn penyapu..i got a few hard WHACK on my back side and legs..huhu..

that night mama apply ointment on my kaki..

'lainkali, bas lambat mcm mana pun tunggu..faham..bahaya adik buat mcm tu....'

mmg sampai sekarang mama duk ungkit the one particular stunt that i pull..

she always said this..

'dalam semua enam anak mama, adik la paling mama susah nk jaga sekali..'

hahahaha...mmg dulu i am very hard be taken care off...i was even the child that make her shed tears so many times...but now am going to make up to u ma..

And Sabah was the longest place that my family has settled in, almost 6 years and till now, i grew very fond of that place..hoping to go back there someday..i realy do..one day when i have the time I-Allah...

so in a nutshell adik2...bas lambat cmner pn silala tunggu yer...kalo x dtg jugak gi bilik guru mengadu..huhu...sekian~

*sheikh muzaphar wedding was grand, but i can see it in his eyes, it's not what he wanted, i think he wanted something more simple and humble...nk wat cmner, the price you have to pay in being a celebrity...best wishes*

JOdoh~

2010-10-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

*mase world cup ari tu...Spain beat Germany...isk..but we're still best bud..kn naddy kn..heheh*

It was back in 2006, I met this wacky girl, during practical..the first moment we sit and talked i new that instance that this is going to be more than just being a practial buddy..as the 3 months practical ended we parted ways...but we didn't part completely part...still getting hold of each other thru friendster (ok, aku tua, friendster was the IN thing tau time tu..hahaha~)....but then again due to being busy and stuff we both kept quite for quite sometime...

Not until December 2009, washing dishes in the toilet after slurping some good old fashion maggi..i saw her...it took me a while to realy digest the fact that she was there...she didn't notice me at first then i shouted her name just to get some confirmation...she looked at me and we were hysteric (jerit2 peluk kt toilet...yes reunion kitorg kt toilet bakti USM..ngok..huhu)..org siap keluar shower kemban2 ingt ade fire drill...but this is what they call jodoh i guess..u don't see it coming, but when it does the feeling is unbelievable overwhelming...hahaha...Good to have her back in my life..minah ni mmg best...hehehe..naddy, hoping for this friendship last for an eternity...

******************************************************************************

ngadu pada naddy pagi tadi (minah ni mmg tmpt i ngadu benda2 remeh...manja kn)..

naddy sakit tekak lagi ni...sore throat cam x sembuh2..= die kate, pi la minum ayaq teh ais..sure sembuh~

naddy apesal whenever i am in the room, rase nk membuang, tp bile pi toilet x mau plak = die kate, xleh nak wat pa da la..buang jer la dalam bilik...isk

one of the reasons i love her and there are many more..^^

*i bought a huge can of Julies love letter and i bet it's gonna keep me company for a while..yummy*

Pendapat2~

2010-10-05T03:58:00.000-07:00

If a girl makes the first move...

What do you think of that?

Go ahead just shoot...I just want to know what you guys think...hehehe...male or female...open for debate...hehehe~

and curiousity might kill cats, but it won't kill me...am not a cat...but am a cat person..hehehe~

*tesco didn't restock yan yan so i scavenge for a new obsession..found one...meiji...biscuit with chocolate filling...go try and knock urself out*

Second Chances~

2010-09-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Second chances...what do you have to say about second chances...

I thought giving out second chances is easy, like it the movies you always witnessed..

'hey, give him/her a second chance...he's a changed man/woman'...

I have always thought of, when you give out second chances, it would e as easy as that...

But as I face through hardship in life..I learnt that second chances don't come easy, like respect, you have to earn it...It's rare...

Imagine if someone hurt you beyond repair, destroy the trust that you have given him/her..the very person that strip down all your guards, wear your heart on your sleeves and he/she hurt you..would second chances come easy...No, it doesn't...

I know in life, there really are no bad guys/gals, people turn out to be the person they are today is due to certain circumstances...but under that circumstances, there is by any chance that a person can might actually be strong and emerge as a good person rather than bad..I see that happen...In life, you have choices and that choices show what kind of person you are..i know decision making is not an easy thing in life, all that i asking..if you want to make that choice don't make a rash decision, because sometimes without you knowing it, the choices you make also effect the people around you..don't be selfish..just sit and think look around you analyze and minimize the risk..the risk of hurting someone..

how can you give a second chance to someone who makes rash decision, broke you heart into pieces...giving second chance to be friends again or being close to you again..

I can't give it out because every time I see all that faces it would remind me of how easy I can get hurt and how long it took for me to recover my sanity...Does the word SORRY would fix anything and evrything..it doesn't work for me...It's not easy...I'm sorry I just can't...Why do the people I love keep breaking my heart like this...How am I ever gonna see things back to the way they are again...I can't...as much a they say time heals everything..I wonder is mine gonna take forever and the longest...It's not that i don't forgive, I long ago forgave...what is left in me is fear...fear to be hurt again...it's scary and it hurts...

Second Chance don't come easy, it's rare and you have to earn it...

Grey's Anatomy~

2010-09-27T17:30:00.001-07:00

Do you know one thing about life that I am blessed with, since the day I graduated, I was never left unemployed for long..only a few months..But I was destined to do the things that I love..

After I graduated, A friend from UIA (again..huhu) called me up saying..

'hey, want a job, but the pay is not that grand..we could use some help here'

Then I said..

'I would love to..don't worry am not after the money, only experience..coz it's priceless..hehe'

At first my mom refuse to let me go because of the pay, but I manage to convince her that I need to do this...and it's not for the money...huhu~

What I love about my job is because it involves lecturing..I had fun..for the first job, it is on contractual basis, my works ends as the semester ends..but I love it..I had to conduct and monitor labs for Organic Chemistry and Chemistry and Bio-Chemistry of Natural Product...Sounds tough eay..well, it is tought when you're the one that has to do all the explaining...huhu..

Later, I was called for and interview for a lecturing position..A Level students under MARA..I nailed the job..but heck I was nervous caused I'll be teaching future doctors..

I had to teach them Biology, and I had the chance to be with them for a semester..even for a semester it was an amazing journey for me...I was not very good at times, but this kid also make me grew to be better at what am I doing back then...

It wasn't easy back then,

But I didn't mind at all, the..

Late nights of studying and preparing just in case that the students ask you questions in class hoping that you'll be prepared for it...preparing for slides..tons and tons of papers to mark, quizess, lab reports..tending their problems, academically or even personal matters...I found joy in doing what I was doing..

My students in UIA, they are probably in their third year know..and another batch has graduated already..

And my A-Level students, last I heard, most of em already flew all and scattered all over europe (ireland, UK, czech republic) australia and Indonesia last raya...How am I proud of em...and I guess the next time I watched Grey's Anotomy, it will remind me that my students will turn in to that in the future..the feeling is simply blissfull...

And now, am doing my MSc in USM under the UIA fellowship (scholarship), I won't have the chance to run from lecturing anymore..but then again, I don't mind, I love what I do..whether now or ever...I will love this...

It's true la what Juliet said, 'Jodoh you dengan kerja lagi kuat compare to jodoh you with man'..erkkkkkk...

but for now, i don't really mind, at least, work don't break your heart like man does kn..hahaha~

A lil trivia:

DO YOU KNOW -

If all major forms of cardiovascular disease were eliminated, human life expectance would increase by 9.78 years.

If a person or an animal is born colorblind, they instantly have excellent night vision.

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.(keep dreaming people)

Your blood vessels, if laid end to end, would encircle the globe twice over.

Turtles and sea cucumbers can breathe through their butts.(You didn't see this one coming..hahaha...don't laugh it's true)

*have a nice day everyone..remember, candy a day keeps your frustration at bay*

Stainless Steel~

2010-09-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wish that I am made out of stainless steel,

unreadable, more aloof, rigid and and immune from any sorts of emotions (esp the bad ones)..

I am readable they say, very easily read, but what annoys them is that, when I am upset, I don't share it, just kept everything to myself..

All my feeling, whether I am happy or when I am sad, whether am I in fear, agony or angry...all are channeled in a form of a crystal clear fluid which is tears...well, call me a cry baby..but i dun cry in public like a baby does (but how I wish I could do that)..but no, i like usually cry in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep..(T_T)~

Juliet use to say, 'Sometimes I feel guilty whenever I am happy because I don't feel like I deserve it'

and I would tell her the feeling is mutual...but I would tell her again, 'but Juliet, God is great, you have to remember, for a girl like you, who has gone through so many hardship in life, you deserve to be happy, He wants you to be happy'...

I constantly keep reminding myself, whatever happens in life, whether it's good or bad, good and bad experiences they are always good for you...everything comes with a lesson for you to learn, all you have to do is use your brain and heart, dig a lil deeper and you'll find it..Again God is great, and He is fair..it'll take sometime for us too see all the silver linings but yes He is the Greatest..always know what is best for you..

So many things that has happen in life..most of them are very heartbreaking but I know I can do this...

As much as I want to me made out of stainless steel, I think I'll settle with the ME I have now..

Coz looking back, if I realy want to be a stainless steel might as well as I be one insensitive mean B**tch..hehe..but no..that's not me...I am ME...

Dearest friends all that I am begging are for your kindness and prayer...I would return the favour by praying for you guys to..thank you..

*I don't write journals because it'll be to depressing, I wrote it here so I can share and get useful advices..because someone once told me, the best advice sometimes comes from faceless strangers..(^_^)*

For a day the everybody wins..~

2010-09-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

To all the ones I love and care, no matter where you are this heavenly ginourmous globe, or no matter where I'll be in the future, I just wanna let each and one of you know, I got your back...If I hurt you in anyways, forgive my ignorance as I don't realy mean for it to happen..hurting you guys would mean I hurt myself..Selamat Hari Raya..love you and you and you..~

What If~

2010-09-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan has been lovely so far...

I can't explain..but lately..I prefer to be alone..just needed some me time..

'What if'...I hate these two words..

I have once heard that elders once told me that the word 'What if' is not good..evil comes with it when you say it..not in an obvious way but in a very dark microscopic kinda way..

I never understood it back then but now I do..I did is more like it..

There has been so many things that has shaken me up to say the word 'What if'...

I've been asking so many 'What if' questions until I realize I got carried away...

Asking to many 'What if's' makes me realize that I forgot on how to be grateful...

Ya Allah,please forgive for my ignorance and carelessness, and for letting myself getting carried away...I have always been grateful with everything that has happen...

Whether it's good or bad, they are all good for.. I have always known that and I have always believe...

Forgive me Again....

*I realize I dun crave anything during Ramadhan and am shedding 5 kilos outta my system..it's freaky realy*

2010-08-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

In measuring one's life achievements is not by looking how far he/she has made it or how much he/she has achieved, but by looking at how much values of life he has learned, inculcate and passed on (Me, 2010)

Tribute to Juliet~

2010-08-17T19:59:00.001-07:00

*from the left: wiwin, me,iati, azrin & Juliet*

*from the left: me, naddy, wiwin, azrin & juju*

*ini la Juliet*

A lil story I would like to share with my dear readers..

Juliet..love her like a lil sister..

During my break at home this lil girl texted me,

''kak fairuz, am very determine that I am gonna start fasting this weekend''

deep down I was touched and surprise..I replied,

'realy darling, but bear in mind k, it's not gonna be easy but I know you can do this'

dalam hati berbunga, but it didn't happen last weekend due too certain problems..

but she started her fasting yesterday..just like a Muslim would do..wake up for sahur, stop drinking when the she heard the azan..berbuka biler azan..juga puasa segala kata x sehat..hehe~~

and proud declaring that she is fasting at her office (and she told me that a few laughed at her thought tha she was silly..her colleagues, many of em are Chinese like her~)..

and being a proud friend and a big sister, she manage to finish fasting the whole day like a normal Muslim would...

AND today she continued her fasting routine waking up for sahur...

one thing about Juliet that I find it impressive is that, when she does something she would look out for facts on the benefits on the stuff that she do and share it with us..such a smart girl..

and she browse and scout for many facts about the benefits of ramadhan and fasting ..which kinda in a way making more knowledgeble bout ramadhan and fasting itself..*hikmah hikmah*~

and today she sent me a text message that made me smile..

'Dear, syukur, just a day fasting and God already rewarded me 4 being patient..soo happy..'

this message was sent after she received a call that she has nailed a job at The Star (northern region section)...

she sounds like a true Muslim right, but that's not the point..

I am grateful that God has sent this bright lil girl to me, she teaches me a lot of stuff, reminds me waht a Muslim should do..even if she herself not a Muslim and another interesting thing bout her is that she knows all history Islam, nabi and Rasul...Insaf nyer saye...

Juliet, am happy to have you in my life..your presence a brings a lil light in my life even if you might not know it...dan sahabat2 yg laen..nnti ade tribute utk kamu juga..sayang kamu semua~

Blackberry~

2010-08-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

*Blackberry for Him and Ipod Shuffle for darling hearthrob Lynn bucukk (semoga kurang stress nk SPM this year ok laling*

Last week I treated my lil bro a blackberry phone..

and the conversation took place after he got his hand on the new blackberry..~

adik (me) : amacam, seronok x dpt blackberry...huhu

beruang sengal : seronok, thanks adik (walaupun sbenarnya saya seorang kakak..=P)

adik (me) : haih, thanks jer...(dalam nada gurau~)

beruang sengal : ok ok, nnti abang balik abis study and officialy a doctor you can come to me
anytime if u need MC...

adik : ngeng...blaja rajin2 sudah...tu hah, rajin2 call papa and mama ek..

beruang sengal : hey, abg rajin jer call...miss call..(pftt..dasar loyar buruk..=p)..

*tahun depan dia balik mama kater, nak sruh kakak kawen tym tu...hehehe..happy..but erk..alamak..abisla, kalo kakak lepas ni nnti semua mata tertumpu kt adik..isk..da kene ready jawapan cepu mas utk thn depan...~*

*will be having my fav snack for buka puasa = yan yan..^^*

Going Places~

2010-08-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

Penang - KL - K.Terengganu - Kelantan - Penang

Yerp 5 places within a week..

As tired as I got but it was meaningful enough spending that whole week with a beruang sengal and orang lidi..kakak, lynn, gurl and of course my parents ..

anyway..

On the day that I reached KL (lucky it wasn't Ramadhan), I had a lousy trip form Penang, as we are about the reached KL the bus broke down in a middle of nowhere and the driver had to pranced around the highway looking for buses that could fit/squeeze us in..so within that half an hour we had to changed bus and I arrived a lil late.

When I reached Bukit Jalil which was around 12.30 pm, my dad's driver was already there to pick me up along side with my mother and my two brothers. I thought my ma was planning to take me back to the hotel to rest but instead the whole crew decided to hit Sogo.

Since Sogo had a big wild member sale so my ma got carried away and bullied me to follow her shopping at that mall until 6.30 in the evening. Lucky I have my two bros with me to keep me company.

Just when we reached the hotel, the only thing I want to do is hit the shower and straight to bed. Pretty exhausted. I did just that, so I picked up the toothbrush, and straight away brush my teeth. The toothpaste tasted weird but I was just to tired to pay attention to any details, but the longer I brush my teeth, I notice that the taste of that toothpaste is to fragrant and absence any taste of peppermint..so I decided to checked...Oh darn, that's not a toothpaste, It was shaving cream..bluerghhhh....Curse the hotel for creating a similar tube..it's to identical to tell it apart, especially when you are tired.isk..Just when my day could have gotten anyworse...

In a nutshell, check the tube before brushing you 're teeth..the aftermath taste of the cream lingers in my mouth till the next day..bluerghhh...

p/s: esok nya mama buli lagi gi Sogo, but I gotten myself a new wallet and gladiator ~

What does this two have in common~

2010-08-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

*same tapi x serupa*

Last couple of weeks..

I was in car rides with all the lovely ladies..

Then on the way on entering the USM entrance gate, my eyes caught a group of international students making their way towards the same direction...

*light bulb*...

I was trying to entertain my group of lovely ladies with my killer sense of humour..

Then I blurt..

'Juliet* akon...'

*referring to a guy in the group that actually look like akon but actually he's not..*

The car was quite...*bunyi cengkerik agak kuat walaupun xder cengkerik sebenarnya*

Then I notice Juliet reached for the air cond...

I was then moved to ask Juliet..

'Nape kuatkn air cond Juju (name manje I for Juliet)'

Juju answered..

'Lorr, td you kate air cond...I pun kuat kn la...Ingatkan You panas'

Speechless...*minah nk kn suke la buat aku speechless*

Finally I explained my real intention when I mention the word Akon (yer Juliet, bkn air cond) ..sume gelak...*lorr baru nk gelak ker..isk (T_T)*

So much trying to polish aku nyer sense of humour.. fail miserably..huk huk....

In a nutshell, akon same ngan air cond...have a good day and thank you..~

p/s: Saye suke kenekan Juliet* sbb die sgt la best utk di kenakan...huhu~

*Mengidam kinder bueno*

Prayer~

2010-07-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

Brought my hand put it on my chest..

'Ya Allah, I beg of You to return the part of my heart that was taken away and I would ask for nothing more..as later in the future, this whole heart belongs solely to my husband'

This is what happened when you have scientist and a medical student bukak forum at my wall post~

2010-07-30T02:19:00.000-07:00

*click on the picture for a larger view*

It started as a normal Status post...aleh2 melalut jd session mari megulangkaji pelajaran microbiology and immunology..hahaha..~

I had colourful and amazing July..I hope you do too..~

p/s:

1) mind my grammar and typo ek..it's a problem that I have always have and still fixing it...=P
they say it's because i got all to excited smpai nyk tinggal benda and make so many
mistakes

2) despicable me is the cutest movie ever (agnes and the lil yellow minion sgt cumil..isk)~

3) masuh gagal mencari peneman tengok Ong Bak 3~

*am craving for snickers*

Poem I made myself~

2010-07-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

When you fight with all your might,
To no avail and live in tears,
open your heart don't close it tight,
let the love banish the fears,

When the anger holds your heart,
All it do will tear you apart,
Set it free with all you heart,
Only then will sorrow part.

Love,
Peroz

When two hearts finally chained in a sacred bond~

2010-07-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Jaslina Jasni and Muhammad Fardy,

To my dearest friend, who has always been there...here is what I have to say,

Pak Dee,

May you never steal lie or cheat,

But if you have to steal, Steal her heart away,

If you have to lie, than lie with her in the nights of her life,

And if you have to cheat, then try to cheat death as I know that she can never live without you.

Jas and Pak Dee,

Be Happy and have a blissful Marriage,

Some sulking and Good Fights wouldn't hurt a marriage,

As I heard from someone, the best part in a marriage and relationship is making up..hehehe~

Glad to be a part/a lil trivial in both of your life...(^^,)

Love,
Siti Fairuz Che Othman

p/s: yes, that's me in yellow yellow sun~

2010-07-19T18:52:00.001-07:00

Changing Lanes, when you decided to do that..don't expect the obstacles to be lesser than the other..It takes courage to lead a life and compassion to love those who walks with you - Me

Public Speaking~

2010-07-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

Dear unknown,

Remember when you gave me out this advice,

'one tip for public speaking. learn to enjoy the public and speakin aint gonna be so weird after all.'

I had proposal my presentation dated on 16 th of July,

I DID IT...hehehe...I made through even if my knee was shaking and collide with one another while I was standing behind the rostrum~

Just as I thought that the whole thing was over, the department programme coordinator came up to me..

'Congratulations, I love your confidence and your public speaking skills are exceptional'

*blushing*

Then she added

'Now I want you to represent the school and USM for a competition in an upcoming conference in Oct'

darn..it's not that I don't like it..I appreciate the attention and compliments..

But I am more terrified...2 months to go...go go Peroz!!~

Unknown..I need a major and useful advice on this one bro..isk..(T_T)

A poem I made myself~

2010-07-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

If I am down with sorrow,

It’s your happiness that I want to borrow,

If you are down with sorrow,

My happiness I will allow you to borrow.

Thank you guys for simply being there when I need you guys the most. And yes, my happiness I will allow u to borrow anytime you guys need it.

p/s: ye..saye xder dlm gamba

When you decided just to take a peek of the unpleasant past..You realize that the wounds still bleed even if you claimed it's healed - Me

2010-07-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

Even though you get that hard blow from De Jong..Mr Xabi Alonso I still think you're the coolest player ever.

2010-07-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

The Comeback~

2010-07-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Being called jerk on your first day of school in a foreign land is nothing compared to my little brother's agony...Unlike his sisters, it was his first time ever going to school..kindergarten to be precise..(In States, the educational system differs from ours, where primary starts from kindergarten to the 5th grade, middle school and finally high school)..Which mean my brother, my sister and I went to the same school..

It was his first day of school..and being the mother's darling it was also his first time for him to part form my mother for a while (bape jam jer pn..bdk ni mmg ngade..anak mak)..So, the only thing my brother did on the first week at school was shouting out his teary agony and protect until the whole school halls bells with his cries (such a cry baby..)x macho sungguh)..I also remembered when the principal summon me to go to his class to calm him down.,which was pretty embarrassing to me...He even cried during lunch and pulled me to sit with him at his class lunch table, where later I was scolded by his homeroom teacher and was chased away to sit at my own class table (which was equally embarassing also)..As time passes by, he began adapting to the whole school and life as a kindergarten student..hehehe..and he no longer needed me to be by his side anymore..(lupa daratan tol.=P)..

One day, during recess after I had my lunch, I have a bad feeling bout something, but I didn't know what it was. I let my insticts leads my body and feet to a specific direction until I spot something..there he was my little brother..a lil bully pulled my brother's jacket from the back causing my brother to choke and the sound of him cried made my heart lurch..Without me noticing it, I thunder my way through the crowd and to my brother pulled the bully and give him a good blow in the face...he ran away..and I took my lil brother in my arm and tell him everythings gonna be alright...(by the way,at the same time I sshocked by my own capability in being a total barbarian and such violence..hahaha..must be the sisterly instinct..hehehe~)

That won't be the only time I'll protect him from harm...I will look after him till the end of time (and all my siblings too of course...yg lain2 tu nnti saye cerita ek!!)..He' will always be my little baby brother..hehe...~

He's coming back soon...Can't wait....It's good to have him back after for so long..even for a lif it is for il while..heheh..=)

Selamat Pulang Bro..hehehe..~

I Do~

2010-06-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

If a guy kneel down on his knee,

and he asked me 'Will you Marry Me?'..

I would kneel down right in front of him, taking his warm beautiful face in my hands..and I would say this to him..

'If you promise me that you will always remember me every time you walked out the door and return home safely in my arms, promise that you'll kiss me before I go to bed and early in the morning, and promise me to make me fall in love with you over and over again everyday...if you are able promise to me that..the answer is YES'

p/s: dear friends who has found their soulmate, take good care of them and congratulations =)

Man of my life~

2010-06-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

Che Othman Che Mat,

By the first look, you might think that he's fierce and aloof.

But at home, he would be this man who makes jokes, made his wife and his children laugh with his joke, but has the ability to keep a straight face while the whole house bells with laughter.

One side of this man that the outside world will never know.

A man where I will never mind if he comes home late everyday, knowing the fact that he works hard to provide for the family.

A man who always kept his sorrows to himself.

A man who always smile and hide his sorrows, and come home hide his fatigue behind that wrinkles on the side of his wise eyes.

A man who once says when I screw up my life 'papa tau adik pandai, adik malas jer, papa percaya adik boleh buat'.

A man who always believed in his lil daughter is something special even if the whole word thinks that she is nothing.

A man that once found out from my mother, when his colleague or employees stops by the house and said "dlm dunia xder boss yg lebih baik dr dia (my daddy of course)"

Papa is a man who hides his emotion, locked it in the deepest darkes chamber of his heart.

I have this dream, when I look for a husband, I want my husband to be the man who my father can spill his heart to, a friend where he can depend on..('',)

And I bet that he will be one world coolest grandpierre to my lovely children..

Papa, adik loves you, will always do....And if you take one good look at me papa, I am daddy's lil girl and will always be..(^_^)~

Happy Fathers Day Papa.

*p/s: malam ni brazil and italy lawan..nk tgk kt mane wey..aduhhhhhh!~

Memories worth remembering~

2010-06-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

Truth, Love and Kindness will always find ways in cutting through cruelty...

You wanna know why I said that...A long story to tell but bear with it my dear reader..heheh..

When I was a little girl, I have once felt that life was pretty cruel towards my family.Back then we were in the States. The government offer a scholarship for my dad to further his studies there as a symbol of reward for my dad's exceptional job by being one of the best government servant. At first, my mother refuse to go, but after weighing all the pros and cons..the next thing we know, we are on a plane heading to this one foreign land..a place where the Yankees are born and Abe Lincoln and Kennedy was killed...ahaha..

We arrived in place called St. Louis Missouri, later iIknow bore the history of where Kimora Lee Simmons was born and Nelly the rapper went to my school that I attended..funny right..

I remember my first cry at Roe elementary school coz a boy named Steve called me jerk, when he came up to me and ask what my name was..i didn't answer, I was shy (kata pompuan Mleayu terakhir) and I was not very competent in communication using English where I actually understand what he's saying but never knew how to reply. Later I was sent to ELS (English Language Society), a place where all foreign students were sent to get some extra English lesson.But after three months, Ms Troya, my English teacher said to me "I regret teaching you English young lady coz once you start talking, you can't stop"..hahahaha..In that class remember a pair of twin from Russia named Vasha nad Marsha, and a Bosnian girl who can't stop crying coz i think she just went through a traumatic phase in life...(both merangkap my classmate gak rupanya and mereke juga fresh mcm i..baru smpai States time tu)..

We lived small cozy house that was partly furnished, later we decorated our small lil mansion with things that we bought form yard sales and flea market that we go through every weekend.
I remember the time me and my sister have hide in the closet whenever the landlord stop by coz there's this one of the rules around the housing area allows only 4 person to inhabit a single house.

My lunch everyday as I went to school are bread with milo. Which by noon, the milo melted and looks kinda discusting, and invites stares from around the table. When a friend ask whether she can taste a wee bit of it..I let her have it..she was taken away with the taste of my bread, she begged me to switch lunch with her the next day, which didn't happen coz iIcan't eat their food.We only had the luxury of eating rice around a few days a week.

Our next door neighbour is a single mother with two kids Sean and Kelly, we were soon enough best friends after we arrived a few days from Malaysia, and made every Saturday our movie and popcorn night since thereon.But fondest figure that I remember by heart is Tracy,who is an aunt to Sean and Kelly. She is like an angel sent form heaven, I have always like since the very beginning. I remember when she would invite us for picnic where she prepared two sets of lunch for my sister and brothers knowing the fact that we are Muslim and we can't simply eat what is serve. One Christmas Eve, some one rang the doorbell of our house, we opened the door but find it weird as no one was there, then we realize that at door step, someone left us with tons and tons of toys. The giver might want to stay anonymous but deep down we know that all the beautiful gifts are from Tracy. Even she knows the fact that we don't celebrate Christmas, but we were touched by the gifts and how specific the gifts were . For instance, me and my sister got barbie and an extra sets or barbie clothing and brother got toy robots and some educational toys. But as I grew up,I relaize that things that you value are not the gifts, but I value the humility that she practice where when you do good deed, u don't have to expose yourself and tell the whole world the all the good's you've done. I will always remember that lesson in life, i promise that i will inculcate this value within my childrens ,myself and my family. Life was cruel but the people around us were truthful kind and loving. I also learned about respect on how to give it out and grant it to those who earned it.

Wish to go back there someday. To look for these people that teaches me in life, no matter how tough life is, there will always be this kind of people in your life.

One of the memories worth remembering. I have learned something in life and I hope you do too.

Save Whatever is left~

2010-05-31T20:15:00.001-07:00

Am not much of a news follower...but I have so many friends who is very kind on updating on all the important things that I should know (also what a Muslim should know)..

So many things happen..All the cruelty towards Muslim...Draw Muhammad day has ignite the fury and angst in me..and now this..Its non military ship (carry aids) for God sake...Don't they have family at home, a mother, a father, a wife, a daughter or a son....what do they feel if the role is recipocrated....

In my Daily prayers (doa), I would express my gratitude for the live HE has given me, the knowledge, safety for my parents, siblings, my family, for those who have given all the knowledge in life and would pray for the safety of all my brother and sisters through out the world...

And now I am beginning to Question whether prayers are enough for the safety and protection for my fellow brother and sisters in Palestine...(I know they say that doa is the ultimate weapon for all Muslims..I don't doubt that)..But I wish I could do more...I hate the feeling of being helpless and not bale to do anything...I'll try my best..Looking for all means to help all I can..And I wish someone can help through out the way......What do you reckon...my prayers goes to those on board Mavi Marmara...~

Memories yg sangat2 random~

2010-05-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

Freddy Krueger once said: It's ur memories that fuels my strength to exist (lebih kurang la...wlaupun cerita horror..hehe)..

But these memories do keep me alive...fuels me and my sole reason that I would want to continue living for many years to come..(InsyaAllah)....still ade memories ygx ckup..hehe..enjoy~

Things yg wat kaum lelaki pun leh PMS~

2010-05-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

a facebook status of a friend a few hours ago :

'was on a beautiful boat this morning... what a way to start the morning! Sun shining and clear turquoise sea..' From Looe, United Kingdom...

then a few minutes ago...she buzzed me at YM...

Friend: I had a great morning and a great day..and got back reading the news..moody~

Me: whats wrong?...I like ur status this morn...

Friend: here's the link...btw..ko ndak baca news apa (reminded that she is a sabahn)...fb punya la aktif...

Me: ok..aku mkn dalam bah...hehehe...

and i got all the picture above...

Even men will get temperament of a PMS women looking at this pictures...

I know I did...

Those are all the picture taken from an oil spillage tragedy from different locations of the earth and the most recent was in the Gulf of Mexico...15 th May...Massive spillage...

History is repeating itself over and over again...SCARY...dun blame mother nature if she is a bit cranky...or more accurate f**ked up..huhu...

Exxon Valdez...they learned nothing from you...congratulations for creating the chain reaction..even ur messed are not truly cleared up till today...things were bad enough when it started and the spill never ends...

Mother Nature..am sorry that this happens to you...

Forgive us...iskkk~

Surat for Myself~

2010-05-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

I go through my slides..

I went through a nervous break down stage..

I went through terror..

I told myself, it'a all right..you can do this...

I plan to celebrate when all of this is over...

Then I received a phone call...

'Salam, Fairuz ker...presentation cancel ek..tunda 18 Jun yer!'

ok..it gonna be one lonnng monthhhhhh!!!!~

Geram & Senang~

2010-05-16T03:11:00.000-07:00

A lil Trivia:

The Thomas Cup competition was the idea of Sir George Alan Thomas a highly successful English badminton player of the early 1900's, who was inspired by tennis's Davis Cup, and football's (soccer's) World Cup first held in 1930. His idea was well received at the general meeting of the International Badminton Federation (now Badminton World Federation) in 1939. The championships have been conducted every two years since the 1982 tournament, amended from being conducted every three years since the first tournament held in 1948-1949.

2010 Thomas Cup and Uber Cup (Personal Experiece la)..

1) x tgk sgt sbb kinda bz..lab punya pasal...

2) totaly missed uber..

3) Stress sbb dpt tau Korea menang from a friend (rase nk tarik rambut and say "how did i miss that?")

4) Credits to Korea for finally breaking the China domination of the game (baru kau tau China, pndg rendah kt org sgt..go go Korea)..weyh, sape2 ade playback for the finals Uber cup? tolong la...aku nk tgk..isk~

5) I followed the semis for Thomas..Malaysia, korg mmg x bleh blah...but then again my fault for believing in to much..still love u guys anyway:

Chong wei - Mirul kate u outclassed urself by playing like a real 'DATUK' - But i think, die stress
Lin Dan - linda panggil ko lipas .... x perlu la moon walking half naked in front of the crowd, we get it ok..u're the best
Koo Kean Keat and Tan Boon Heong- I was expecting more from u fellas..u guys soo workup at the 1st set..adrenaline soar high, 2nd set, adrenaline i flush down the drain
Chong Han - in love

Followed the finals too:

Taufik Hidayat - x sempat tgk ko men mane2 game
Kido and Setiawan- Great Game man
Santoso- looking forward for more of u and yes am in love w u
Feng and partner- U guys are great too
Chen Jin - ko hebat but ur face cm tue la dik...akak pun nmpk lg mude tau

6) Finals, well what can i say..Great game...(Indon mmg kasi panas bontot penonton la, and not to mention the China palyers & coaches benches)

7) Simon Santoso...gotta hand it to u bro..am in love with u too...so so in love~

8) Congratulations China!

10) Conclusion made, it's the year of the underdog and the unsung heroes...(i have my own definiton for heroes)

p/s: i grew up with badminton and find that am missing the old format, but the new format makes it easy for the commoner to understand, even for my two lovely ladies yg teman i tgk sampai tersengguk-sengguk...thank u guys!!~(^_^)

X-Files yg berape nak X~

2010-05-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

*ini Juliet, not the Romeo's Juliet, just simply Juliet*

One fine morning,

Like every other morning, i wake up with a huge beary yawn expecting that today is going to be pretty bored like any other day i've been through..

I keep saying to myself..Please please make this day a little extraordinary that any other day...

So i hit the shower, and i bump into Juliet...

ahah? i see frowns on that pretty lil forehead..

*could this be the day..the day yg idup ku x kn bored*

then she realized that i was there, she grabbed me and said,

'kak fairuz, i pelik la, a few days back, when i rendam baju i, pg esok i cek, air mesti xder, tggl baju i jer'

and i ask her 'da bnyk kali ker, pelik'..now i am the one frowning..

the nex t day it happen again..Juliet da risau...

*tym ni la background lagu X file dimainkn*

'ade org dengki kt u ke Juliet'...

*masuk da bab tuduh menuduh n cari saspek and lagu x file maseh lg berkumandng*

so da beberapa ari Juliet hasn't wash her clothes so the issues of air hilang dari baldi was put to rest for a lil while...

pastu satu hari Juliet nk mop bilik, she realize something...huhuh...

then she came running to me...'kak fairuz, i know already where the water went...'

the most anticipated moment...'sape yg buat?' i asked her..

*soalan x leh blah kn..mane la tau jmper saspek kn...hohohoh*

*DRUM ROLL*

'baldi i bocor'..

*speechless*....

and that is when i realize, hidup ku ini akan sentiasa normal...hahaha..

*thanks juju for the inspiration*

Price tag~

2010-05-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

How to end a great day disastrously and with utmost embarassment...

Follow the simple steps below..

1. Accompany ur friend to a mall or a near by mart

2. Take any price tag from any purchasing item, and goof around with it with ur friends.. (letak price tag tu kt tudung die ker, kt baju die ke...)

3. Make sure put the price tag are placed where it is visible to public

4. Pegi mkn cendol

5. Find another price tag

6. Put it on ur cheek to show ur friend how cool u can be by putting it there

7. Accidentally forgotten that tag on the cheek

8. A guy looked at with narrowed eyes

9. Perasan that he's looking at u, u looked back at him with the face 'ko pehal tengok2 aku?'

10. Naik kete, baru sedar price tag kt pipi x cabut lg

11. The guy that u accidentally accuse of checking u out, park kete sebelah kete kitorg

12. They left the parking lot dgn gelak cam haram

and that is my 12 steps on how to end ur day disastrously...isk~

The Rest is History~

2010-05-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

* last year's winner..' berbulukah aku?'

Now, am lepaking with Naddy in my room...

The ambiance is pretty cool, cloudy and cozy..

Then naddy spoke to me...

'Tu dia, org yg menang Cleo elegible bachelor, penuh bulu kt tgn die kottttt!!!' (dlm loghat kedah ok ppl...)

Pastu aku pun tambah..

"asal hensem jer berbulu"

Naddy pun sambung "The Rest is History"....

Amacam,Anda rase anda hensem, type On BULU ke 344**

aku gelak tanpa henti.....tgk jam kul 11.44...dan tetiba sedar aku x mandi lg...hohohohoh~

Not Actually a comeback~

2010-05-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

it's been a while ek people...

i know it has been..

i thought of stopping..

but a girl told me not to..

she told me that i am like a can full of ideas..

relating me to a can actually makes me feel like a sardine or maybe a cocktail of fruits..hehehe

well..i am coming back..

but for now..i think this is adequate...

life is not always easy right..but just sit relax and enjoy the ride...

I am me once more people...stick around ok~

A little girl's dream~

2010-01-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

When i was young being the middle child i have always realize...nothing is about me...it has always been putting someone else in front of me...i grew to be independent...so i cling to friends that i love and the guy that i love (these two things i use to have in the past)...until now there's a lil girl inside of me that would dream and is still dreaming....her dream when are put into words i sounds like this.....

I want a hand to hold me..

I want a hand that will guide me...

I want a hand that will wake me up every morning..

I want a hand that i can hold and kiss every time each jamaah prayer ends..

I want a hand to hold and embrace me whenever I'm sad..

I want a hand that will wipe away all my tears even when i cry over stupid stuff..

I want a hand that will comb my hair and lull me to sleep every single night..

I want a hand that will tease and pinch my cheek whenever i'm naughty..

I want a hand that i can always cling to anytime so i won't get lost..

I want a hand that I can always hold until the day i die...

And i will give my hand so that so i can do the same for him...and let him cling to me when the whole world wears him off......

That was my dream..it is still my dream...I still love him and how i wish this hand in my dream would be his...But for now let me cling to the Almighty.....

Semalaman x tido...maybe now i should try and get some sleep.....~

2009~

2009-12-30T22:21:00.000-08:00

Well...it's been a while since I updated my blog...

another year has come and pass...but this year is not like any other year i've been through...

2009 is a year where it has transformed into a butterfly...a grown women...i can say...

at the age of 25 i have experience almost everything life has to offer...

year 2009 has taught me the meaning of loosing the ones you love..

I lost my friends and friendship when the mid year enters...

And a few days before new year...i lost the man i love and experienced the first real heartache in my life...

So this is how it feels...to feel hurt...so i guess Allah wants to show me this feelings that maybe in the past i somehow cause in some people...my mother, father...my friends...

Allah has always been kind to me no matter what, as for every looses in life i have always gain something more...and only time will tell...

my heart will heal...but a dear friend even told me...it even take the longest....

dear friends that is there to wipe my tears....thank you...only Allah has the power to repay your kindness and i will always pray for your happiness..

and please dun blame urself if ur kindness didn't manage to stop my tears...my tears just has their nature of streaming down uncontrollably lately..that's all~

and to him..when u came into my life..u taught me courage, u showed me intelligence, u taught so much and u even taught me pain...wish u all the best and all i want is for u to be happy...u are the best thing that has ever happen to me...thank you for the memories...

i close my book for now....Happy New Year 2010.....

i decide not to make any yearly resolution..but i make daily resolution in years to come....a more realistic one...

and tell the people that u love before it to late and that includes Allah..take care people~

H.A.P.P.Y~

2009-12-09T04:23:00.000-08:00

Psst....

how are u people..

i notice...i was sitting on a table right outside my room with my two favorite girlfriends...

i can't stop smiling cause m very happy...

hehehe...

why should not i be happy...

surrounded w my beautiful family..

great friends...

blessed by Allah with all the wonderful things...

and to break the super happy news..

I have proudly settled my ptptn debts two days ago...

and u know what the best things bout it...

I used no ones money except my very own...

4 solid months w/out shopping n ikat peyut (tp still bulat cm ikan kembung~)..

but everything was worth it..

hehehe...

buybye debt..buhbye ptptn~

and i love u and u and u and u and u....hehehehe~

Mmembazir~

2009-12-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

So just got back from home and I miss my family...

especialy the times where there are only four of us gurls wud sit in the dining room having dinner n sharing jokes..

i know it not nice to talk with your mouth full..but hey..what the heck..hehehhe..

so we were having dinner and my youngest sis burped out loud..i scowled at her..

then i decided to tease her..

while looking at her plate there is still food on it..lotsa of it to be exact..

then i said 'patutnya, after u burp..makruh tau mkn lg'

then my lil sis jawab..'ala, makruh jer..bkn nyer haram'

then i retaliate 'tp makruh x disukai Allah' *sambil wat muke org ilmu tinggi*

then one of my lil sibs cut the conversation by saying..

'ala, membazir tu amalan syaitan..lg Allah x suke!'....

darn it..segala muke knowlegeble have been wiped out of my face..

then those two youngsters high fived each other tanda kemenangan..

ampeh nyer bdk2 kecik....

yg eldest hanya gelak n geleng kepala...

hohohoh...

i miss them~

Name pelik~

2009-11-21T04:29:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in front of the computer working on my review and surfing the net..

Facebook to be exact....going thru friends profile..

i notice one thing...

then i convey my thoughts out loud to my roomate and a friend..

'asal name pelik jer mesti cantik'

then i add..

'patut mama bg name pelik dulu..baru lawa..teheeeee'

pastu my fren menyampuk..

'hek eleh..kalo muke lawa takper la...cube kalo muke pun pelik...da la muke pelik..name pun pelik..ntah ape2 ntah...'

cet..aku baru nk berangan..such a turn off la kak wai ni..

hahahaha...

*aku ngah giler rojak n sengkuang n esok penang bridge run n stamina aku maseh ampeh..hehehe*

Where do we go from here~

2009-11-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

Well here i am sitting in the comfort of my own room (i mean hostel room)...

juggling so many things at the same time..

reading books, journals, and literature review...

my deadline for the review is almost up..but thinking of asking for extension...

a lil stress..but i love my new life and my roomate and the fun n funny gals next door...

well am not gonna talk bout that...

well..i just wanna ask one thing..

sape2 nk jawab silela..i just wanna kutip experience by sharing and hope u'll share it with me...

i kno a few of us are studying..working...married..happy..frustrated..missing someone..just got hurt from being dump...healing from an old heart break..starting a new relationship..given up life...n more...

here's the ultimate question...

'i was wondering where do u go from here?'

looks like and easy Q..tp i invite u to answer...

(n_n)

Freedom~

2009-11-12T02:00:00.001-08:00

*aku (bukan badan sebenar*

It only took 40 minutes when the table to be turn or someone fate could turn...

40 minutes, is all takes from my freedom to be taken away form me..

the day b4 i was a haapy bunny who cud go and hop anywhere she wants..a few minutes later..she stuck within a compund for 8 hr a day five days a week..

hehehe...

For the past three months my former SV is like sweetheart...

even if i come to school or not (bkn skola rendah ek..hehehe)..she wudn't care less..

After 40 minutes meeting with the new SV...she said this to me...

'From my point of view..master students, they are like working people..everyday i expect you to come to school 8.15 in the morning till 5 pm in the evening...i expect results,and only results...oo,one more thing..i am the type who'll follow my students..i'll even call in the middle of the night if i want too..'

adehhhh...kembali ke alam pekerjaan la aku ni..

the only difference is i can wear jeans and sneakers to work..

well..look on the bright side...maybe her strictness will helped me learn and speed things up..

haish...life is getting harder for me..isk3x~

selamat kembali ke zaman mereng..huahuahua~

well...look on the bright side..i still have my weekends kn~

hello work..goodbye freedom~

Stranger~

2009-10-31T23:12:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were young when your mama always tells u never talked to stranger..

Well at some points..she is true..it is dangerous..

but as I grow up..I like to be surrounded by strangers..

It's easier if you live in the world where no one knows you..

A world where no one is too judgmental or too scrutinizing..

Being older I realize..I find it more comfortable sharing stories, memories or hurtful moments with a stranger..

It's just pure weird when you sometimes find strangers company very comforting and non intimidating..

and sometimes it's also weird to find some of 'em very understanding...

I wish I can live in a world filled w strangers..don't u?

ptptn~

2009-10-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

I watched oprah one day..

a guest she had with her was a finance experts..

quoted form the genius..

'you are really saving when you have no debts'

which lead me to make an excruciating embarrassing decision..hehehe..

i asked my ma..'ma, byrkn ptptn adik dulu bleh..i promise i find ways to pay u back'..

n she said 'ok..nnti adik bgtau mama ape mama kene wat..'

'LOVE U MA.....weeeehuuuuuuu~'

hey..at least better than utang ngan lintah darat ptptn tu...

hehehe..

it's ok not to get mad~

2009-10-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

dr dulu i always thought i have trouble expressing my feelings..

i thought i suppress everything inside..

having all my friends telling me how weird it is not knowing how to get mad..

honestly..i thought i was sick inside..

but later i learn..it's just my nature..

i knew n my body n head knew..it ain't healthy..

getting mad never helped..it makes u even sick inside..

that's why i said in my shout out..

no more hatred..there never were..

only love..cause life is too short to be wasted on something stupid..

when you have so much love to share...

take care people...

i love you all...

and tell the people you love them b4 it's to late..

be4 time itself is running out...

Duit Raya~

2009-09-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

*kisah benar ini sudah diubah sedikit for entertainment purpose..but it's real ok..*

kakak aku yang cun sering dikejar ramai jejaka...

so raya tahn ni yg adala seorg admirer kakak aku datang...

nk ambik hati keluarga la konon..

so nk x nak aku pun kene layan skali...*roll eyes*

pastu tym die nk dekat balik tu...

dia panggil aku...

'adik meh cni..nah..duit raye'

aku senyum lebar...*air mata bertakung terharu..sbb aku nyer zaman duit raye da berakhir thn lepas*

u kno what..aku x kesah la aku pendek n bulat..

awet muda..and above all..aku dapt duit raye...

maybe next year aku shud serve admire kakak aku w double ponytail so can innocently double my duit raye..hahahahaha....

mee goreng mamak~

2009-09-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

satu hari aku ke kedai mamak...

menemani kawan ku...

aku teringin mee goreng mamak n ayam goreng...

aku jerit..'ane(accent gaya heroin filem tamil)..mee goreng mamak 1 kasi letak ayam' (bahasa pun jd broken gak..xleh blah)

kawan aku pesan nan jer...

beberapa menet kemudian pesanan ku sampai...

aku tetibe berang kerana ayam goreng yg ku suruh tambah xder kt atas mee goreng mamak ku..

aku pun bg isyarat panggil pelayan yg serupa ngan filem hero tamil itu agar dtg ke arahku...

'ane....td saye pesan ayam...' (nada ku agak kasar)

pelayan it mengangkat tangan tanda agai aku bersabar..

'dik..kasi sabar...itu ayam ade bawah itu mee'.....

aku tersipu....

'sori ane..saye x tau'(aku sengih kambing smbil tgk keliling..malu nagn commotion aku sniri caused)

moral of the story: selak dulu mee sbelum mengamuk..hehehe...

********************************************************************************
aku da lame x mkn bnda manis..even teh tarik..isk

selamat ari raye maaf zahir batin.......

Sitting Still~

2009-09-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

m sitting still in my room~

very quite~

then there were words that echoed in my head~

'Learn to forgive yourself before you forgive others'

Should I forgive myself and let go now?

I still need time to find the answer...

Silly~

2009-09-09T00:46:00.000-07:00

My shout out in facebook a few days back...
'I wanna do silly stuff in public just to see how much do I care what people think of me'..

I asked myself 'am I too old for doing silly stuff or act doofus in public?'..
Flashback during time when I was in Uni and Matric..
I did lots of silly stuff..never cared what other people think of me..

I used to burp in public (i know..it's disgusting)..say 'Hi' to a stranger that i think is cute or hot..

I even once sang for a crush of mine by making dedication through Radio 4 on 'Romantic Tuesday'..
After I have been encouraged by friends of course...
I won an atomic kitten CD for the best dedication..but I never get my hands on the CD..hehehe..
And I knew a few friends of mine accidentally overheard the dedication through the radio..
I was never embarrassed..We had loads of fun...
I didn't have any idea that crush of mine heard it or not.....hahahaha...
silly days...
oh I'm getting old..but I can assure you that I'm still young at heart..hehehee..

I wanna go back through that time time where I never really cared about anything not fear of being me..

Wanna join me...Jom...hehehe...
***********************************************************************************

i had ice cream last nyte..just can't help myself..hehehe..

my music list~

2009-09-05T23:51:00.000-07:00

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what they mean
I never thought that I'd love someone
That was someone else's dream

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

But it might me a second too late
And the words that I could never say
Gonna come out anyway

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

Ramadhan yg sedikit lain~

2009-09-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

seseorang pernah berkata pada ku (benar ku ak ingat siapa tapi kata nya kukuh terpahat di hati ku ini)..

'Jangan tinggalkan hati kite pada manusia..dikhuatiri akan disakiti'

'Akan tetapi tinggalkan hati mu pada Yang Maha Esa..InsyaAllah kamu tidak akan disakiti kerana Dia tahu apa yang terbaik untuk mu'

Aku mula belajar akan hal ini sedikit demi sedikit..aku ingin jadikan Allah kekasik hakiki ku...

datang pula nasihat dari seorang sahabat yang kini amat aku kasihi..

'walau ,macam mana sekali pun kita sayangi seseorang itu..jangan sampai rasa kasih itu melebihi rasa kasih kita pada Allah s.w.t'

Ramadhan yang betul2 indah bagi ku..

*************************************************************************************

still not having any sweets...

They Who I Terribly Miss~

2009-08-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

****************************************************************************
still no choc or candy...am now a glucose deprive nyu..

Ramadhan~

2009-08-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

sitting quietly in the room reading a novel title ayat2 cinta...

istighfar panjang..

terasa sangat kekurangan diri...

ceteknya ilmu...

mari la kite mancari ilmu...

Selamat berpuasa...

*********************************************************
huhuhu...no choc..m on diet...

What is it about life that is so hard~

2009-08-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

I once posted what I think bout life...

My recent feeling bout life is it's weird and full of secrets...

and that what makes it a lil hard to handle..

Tyring to decipher very single secrets that has been set by God like a giant puzzle...

Your task is to put them together to get a picture that make sense to you...

Lately in life I just realize that are pieces of puzzle that I have put together wrongly...

In other words I try to force the puzzle to stick together...

and recently I realize it didn't work...

So I rearrange it back again and boy I manage to fit a few to get a clearer picture..

not all..but bits by bits...

God is Great...

I will try to work the puzzle till the day I die....

*********************************************************************************

p/s: I miss him the other day and had nestle tropicana and having fears that it will become a habit and a friend of mine is officially pregnant....hehehehe..

Love~

2009-08-16T01:19:00.000-07:00

Hangin out with a friend that is happily married..

I admitt..pretty envious..and to see them happy is simply blissfull...

It got me thinking bout love...

I mean in a broader prospect..

Love for God..

Love for parents..

Love for family..

Love for friends...

Love for a lover...

and there is only one conclusion that I can draw from the experiences I've been through...

You find love in unlikely places....

(^_^)

*my hand is smudge with cadbury almond*

Newbie~

2009-08-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am now officially in Penang..

It's been a week..

And this place rocks...

I admit there there are things that I'm glad i left behind..

And there are good memories i will never let go..

A new start and i am a newbie...

hehehe...

*enjoying chocolate cake*

Home~

2009-08-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

I'm at home...
God is so good to be at home..
Reunited with my long lost bro...(ok bunyi agak melodrama)..
Maybe this is the only thing I need right now...
Nothing else...
Semalam tengok mukhsin..
Jiwa aku tersentuh...
A quote I kept well imbedded in my heart...

'Love is kind,it'll always give us second chances'

I got mine...(^_^)...She was kind enough to forgive me..(^_^)..

And if u're reading this...Thank you...

And Thanks to Allah too....

For giving me what I have now...

mereka~

2009-07-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

Deaths and Funeral~

2009-07-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

Smlm ade sorg budak UIA meninggal..

Aku x kenal arwah..

Tapi lepas satu kematian, satu kematian..

Kalo nyawa aku yg ditarik...

Bersediakah aku??

Sedekah kan Al- Fatihah pada yang dah pergi...

Al-Fatihah....

Bite,Chew and Crack it~

Anger~

Dear Men

We teach life, sir~

Kill me~

Scrapaperclip Giveway.

(-_-'')

I beg your forgiveness~

Asian Kung fu Generation~

King of anything~

Old~

The white tiger cub~

Misunderstood affection~

Jar of Hearts -Christina Perri

Love~

Magesh~

A little serious~

Jgn jadi Simon Cowell Malaysia~

I realy need to do this~

Inherited~

A letter to someone notifying him that I screwed up~

A letter to someone I once knew~

Kawaiiiii~

Kacang Soya~

This is for You~

Mama says~

Insignificant~

Adibah Noor~

A short pose~

The One~

Resentment~

Tidakkah mendedah dan menyebar kejahilan org sama seperti kita menyebar aib mereka..Jgn terlalu lantang bersuara apabila kita juga tahu masih banyak kerompongan diri yang perlu di tampal~

Babushka Frenzy Ad~

Sigh~

Shoot~

Prayers~

Whack it~

JOdoh~

Pendapat2~

Second Chances~

Grey's Anatomy~

Stainless Steel~

For a day the everybody wins..~

What If~

In measuring one's life achievements is not by looking how far he/she has made it or how much he/she has achieved, but by looking at how much values of life he has learned, inculcate and passed on (Me, 2010)

Tribute to Juliet~

Blackberry~

Going Places~

What does this two have in common~

Prayer~

This is what happened when you have scientist and a medical student bukak forum at my wall post~

Poem I made myself~

When you fight with all your might,To no avail and live in tears,open your heart don't close it tight,let the love banish the fears,When the anger holds your heart,All it do will tear you apart,Set it free with all you heart,Only then will sorrow part.

When two hearts finally chained in a sacred bond~

Changing Lanes, when you decided to do that..don't expect the obstacles to be lesser than the other..It takes courage to lead a life and compassion to love those who walks with you - Me

Public Speaking~

A poem I made myself~

When you decided just to take a peek of the unpleasant past..You realize that the wounds still bleed even if you claimed it's healed - Me

Even though you get that hard blow from De Jong..Mr Xabi Alonso I still think you're the coolest player ever.

The Comeback~

I Do~

Man of my life~

Memories worth remembering~

Save Whatever is left~

Memories yg sangat2 random~

Things yg wat kaum lelaki pun leh PMS~

'was on a beautiful boat this morning... what a way to start the morning! Sun shining and clear turquoise sea..' From Looe, United Kingdom...

Surat for Myself~

Geram & Senang~

X-Files yg berape nak X~

Price tag~

The Rest is History~

Not Actually a comeback~

A little girl's dream~

2009~

H.A.P.P.Y~

Mmembazir~

Name pelik~

Where do we go from here~

Freedom~

When you fight with all your might,
To no avail and live in tears,
open your heart don't close it tight,
let the love banish the fears,

When the anger holds your heart,
All it do will tear you apart,
Set it free with all you heart,
Only then will sorrow part.