Monday, February 17, 2014

Tawbah of a Muslimah (Third Place in Short Story Competition for NISE 2014)

Title: Tawbah of a Muslimah
Author: Siti Fairuz binti Che Othman
University: University of Leeds
Phone no: 07593353623
Email address: fairuzothman_84@yahoo.com

So I stared into the void space. Looking like a zombie and asked myself “How did I end up here?”
Breathing in the air taking in the sight. I use to hate this place for everything. Couldn’t stand the sight or the smell. But today this place is my salvation. Recalling the moments.
“We suspect, it’s breast cancer, believe to me malignant and unfortunately it has spread to most of your internal organs”. I frowned and asked “I don’t understand” Then he continued in a as-a-matter-of-factly tone  “ based on our calculation predicting that you will only have 12 months to live depending on how your body reacted to the medication.”

I resented the man in front of me even if he does look like Aaron Aziz. Why did he had to drop the information like a nuclear bomb. Why can’t he be more subtle and why does he have mentioned 12 months when he can say one year. I thought Dr was supposed to be gentle. Forget it. Then he continued “I am afraid we have to keep you here for a few days to run some more tests.” I nodded.

Here I am. That’s it. Is this the end.I can’t stay put. I feel a mess. So I decided to give this place a tour. Aimlessly walking. I’m not sure if I am allowed to do so. So I continue walking, until I came to a place where I only use to see in the movies or commercial ad. You know the place where they have a huge see through window placing all the newborns. I looked at one of the baby and to my surprise he or maybe she, I can’t tell, they all look the same looked back at me. I smile and say “hey kiddo, welcome to the world…I am leaving in 12 months” He/she moved and I swore I think the baby smiled at me as if he/she understand me. For the first time after the news I feel comforted. I decided to stay a while longer. There were rows of chairs facing the window and I sat there.

Then I heard someone says “ Assalamualaikum…” I turned to the voice..A pretty little women smiled at me and sat a few chairs away from me..feeling a little annoyed I feel like leaving but I decided to stay instead “Waalaikumsalam”..then she said cheerfully “ It’s good that you returned my salam..x jawab dosa (if you don’t return it..you’ll ended up sinning)”.. “Cliché” I whispered to myself. ”My name is Melissa, breast cancer, 3 months left to live..but I won’t buy what the Dr says..All are predictions until Allah says it’ll happen” I kept quite and absorbing the sight of her. Compared to me, I don’t wear hijab, but she was wearing one. The sound of Allah’s name alone sent a jolt of an electric shock to my heart. When was the last time I talked to you Ya Rabb. Lost in thoughts then I heard her voice “ Are you ok? Why are you crying?”..Dang it…I touched my face and It was wet…I left here there and then without a word. Didn’t even glanced back at her. I just kept walking, back to my ward. The initial plan was to stay undercover because I suddenly feel the fear crept up the deepest corner of my dark heart I headed up to the bathroom instead and without any hesitation I take my wudhu. The coolness of the waters kept me calm for a bit..ermmmm…I hesitated…the water is running…then I heard a voice whispered..”your hand first” I jumped and and squeaked..I turned and saw Melissa sheepishly smiled apologetically at me “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you..i just can’t stand the site of water being wasted..I decided to come over and helped” I sighed..I still think she’s annoying. But then I said “Melissa right..your name is Melissa?” She nodded cheerfully “I continued even though I was embarrassed, I politely requested her “If you don’t mind, can you help me remember how to take wudhu” She beamed brightly “Of course I can..oh..we can pray together if you want to..I haven’t preform my isya’ prayer anyway” I nodded. Honestly, I do have a small recollection of me praying when I was in the orphanage but I was so naughty I usually try to escaped the daily prayer routine which have become a habit until now..After the prayer I asked her “How do you do it?” She was lost “Do what?” I said “Being cheerful on the verge of death” She smiled..”I don’t know..Maybe because I was taught that death is not something that you should fear” I nodded and I was lost in thoughts again then I hear her say “You should have a rest..we’ll talked again tomorrow”. Then she walked to her bed and I was surprise it was right next to mine..I fell asleep..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In the darkest hour of the night I was suddenly awake. I looked at Melissa’s bed. It was empty. Then I saw her next to her bed on the praying mat, she was very absorbed, hand raised high slightly looking up. The sight was amazing, it was like she was talking and conversing with someone. I looked at her..only to realize that she turned to me and say “ Hey you, how did you know it was the Fajr prayer already” Then we both went to the bathroom to take our wudhu again she lead the prayer. After the prayer I looked at her and bluntly blurted out “You’ll die a beautiful death Melissa.” She kindly smiled at me “Why do you say that” “You never miss your prayers, you perform night prayers and you seem to be ready for it.” She said “Every single Muslim will die a beautiful death. As long as they believe there is Allah s.w.t and Rasullullah s.a.w, Jannah awaits for the in the next life.” Then she asked when is my next check-up and tests “ I told her in a couple of hours. We promised to meet each other at the first place we met. The baby section.

There I was sitting in the baby section looking forward to see Melissa. No longer annoyed with her presence.  Then she came smiling sweetly at me, but I notice she looked a little white..like a ghost. She sat next to me, then she said “I have something to give you, it’s not new, but I still want you to have it” She gave me two things, 1) Telekung (Women praying attire) 2) Al-Quran. I accepted with an open heart, truth to be told, I was a bit flustered and touched at the same time. I said “Thank you”. Then she said, tell me about yourself..I told her there’s not much to tell but she insisted “I am an orphan, all my life I have always been alone and I will always be alone” Melissa smiled “No one is ever alone. Being a Muslim, orphan or not orphan, we are never alone, we will always have Allah.” She said firmly and continue “And now you have me.” I then said “I like that”. We continue to pray together we continue that day. Again I saw her on the praying mat doing night prayers.  But I didn’t see her the next day. I assume that she has check-up or maybe chemo to attend too. I prayed alone that day. I waited for her till isya’. She was still nowhere to be seen. I sat there on my bed and then realized the gift that she gave me, the Holy Qur’an..I took it..I opened the first page her name was written on there ‘Melissa binti Abdullah’..I ran my fingers through her name. I see captions on the lower corner of the page “Seek and you will find”. I browse through and notice a few post it notes and pages being marked and few noted written here and there. I decided to randomly stopped at any ayah in the holy Quran..I came across this ayah. The last ayah in Surah At-Tawbah (The Repentance)


"Now, if they turn away (O Muhammad) say: Allah sufficeth me. There is no Allah save Him. In Him have I put my trust, and He is Lord of the Tremendous Throne."

I cried all of a sudden. I wiped my tears and waited patiently for Melissa to come. Then she was there, I felt relieved to see her again. I said to her “Thank you” She asked “For what” I said “For being my first friend”..She smiled “I am very glad I met you too”..On that night I asked Melissa if I could join her for night prayers. She told me of course. After the night prayer she said “Promise me something, promise me that you will never give up on anything especially on yourself.” I promised her right there and then. She then continued

“Finding balance is the most difficult thing that one can do. It will always be a constant battle, between the two. The heart and the mind. But being Muslims, emphasis has been put upon taking care of that one lump of meat (Heart). Have a good heart and you will have a good mind then good actions will follow. So take care if it”

She placed her palm on my heart. I nodded again. I asked her. “Melissa, when you pray what do asked from Allah?” She said “I pray for your recovery”

Then we prayed Fajr together after the prayer I didn’t feel the need to go back to sleep then Melissa said “I am tired, I want to sleep for a bit, can you wake me up for Dhuha?” I nodded. Instead of lying down in bed, she laid down on the praying mat. I watched her fell into a deep sleep. Her face looked calm and serene, she looked fragile at the same time. I gently touched her on the shoulder afraid that she might break. She didn’t move…I panicked..I tried again to regain her from slumber..she was still..I started crying and screaming for help. Nurses, doctors all came to the aid..The doctor came and checked her pulse.  She was no longer in this world. I scream and cried, begged the doctor to bring her back. The nurses had to hold me tight to calm me down. After I calmed down, the hospital became quite again. The nurses came and asked me, would you like to help settle her jenazah. I nodded. I was there with her until they’d buried. I get to kiss her forehead one last time. I notice she liked me was alone too. She only had me in her life.

I stayed at the hospital when a woman nurse came, I always see her around Melissa. Turns out she was her caretaker and nurse for the past 2 years she was diagnosed. She sat next to me and said “Let me tell you about Melissa”

“Melissa was a beautiful girl brought in a family who have different religious belief than she had now. When she decided to convert, her family threw her away and she live like an exile. Everyone turn their back on her. She didn’t give up. Years later after her conversion, she was diagnosed with the illness. She remained patient and alone..But she always smile and she always recite the last verse from surah At-Tawbah. She was the happiest when she met you and above all, she never wanted you to feel alone. Pray for Melissa ok”
The nurse left. I took the holy Quran that was given to me as a gift. I ran my fingers through her name. That explain why her last name was Abdullah.

 I did what was promise. I didn’t give up and fought for my life. I was cancer free. It was Melissa who saved me. I’ll see you in jannah InsyaAllah my dear friend. Promise me that we’ll see each other again in the next life.





Friday, April 26, 2013

What took you so long? (-__-")


*I came to congratulate the girls and collected my scroll..teheee..di marahi teruk sbb x attend convo..(-__-")*

What took you so long? was the most frequented question asked when I was doing my Masters. To answer that one particular question, I will be needing tons of sheets of papers to explain but let's just choose to be grateful and thankful that I finally graduated. When collected my scroll I was on the brink of tears, 3 years of hardship and hard work fighting the battle alone finally pays off and materialized in a form of a scroll and an academic transcript. Never have I learned on how to be more independent during those years of my life. When I wrote "You know you're a fighter when everyone else decided to quit and run away, but you decided to stay and finish what you started", those were truly meant specifically for me and for those who fought the same battle as I did.

Doing master degree requires extreme commitment and focus as well as mental strength. One of the reason I ventured into doing research was because back then my big boss was not a big fan of mixed mode course and I went along because I am not a big fan of going through studying and sitting for exams. Besides, my big boss reassured me, the experience that I will gain will help big time when I'm about to pursue my study. Boy ain't he a vissionary and he was damn right. Apart from that, I went through some personal battle with a lot a people to made it through this far. I also learned on how to divide my attention equally between my SV and Co-SV which I failed to do at the beginning of the second term. But we sort out the misunderstanding professionally (well not really professionally when I cried in front of her). So, actually the crying didn't stop there. For your information, doing master by research is a lonely journey..In the  lab of course, you had to fight the battle with style without having to cross someone else's path. You have to be extremely diplomatic and at times, you just have to really fight for your rightful place in the lab. I've seen people come and go, I seen some chose to leave because they had had it and think that the journey took too long and don't see the lights at the end of the tunnel. But I also seen those who stayed with me, who fought the battles till the very end and suceed. Just like me. Giving up was not an option as we have come this far and close to end what we had ,well, foolishly started (hahahaha). 

But I have to say Alhamdulillah, that I was granted a group of strong support system who told me that I could do it. I would call mama and cried and ask her " am i not good enough"..Papa who would always call from his office asking " are you ok?"..My sis who is my mentor as well " this girl is one hard core researcher, a chemist by the way"...my other siblings..And my friends, from different fields but fought the same battle as I did and many had graduated..it was a nightmarish experience but something I don't mind going through again. I am tough as steel now, being a steel is a good thing as you can be bend but never broken. As rusty I am right now to start off the new journey, I am ready..bring it on..!! 

we all have our personal battles in life..Fight in style..just keep on fighting..and you eventually will get to place that you intended to go to..even if it takes years.. then so be it, because when it ends, you have on hell of a tale and experience to share..and proud that you didn't give up!!~

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Write drunk, edit when sober~




I am an open book as I have nothing to hide..
When someone comes up to me and shoot me with questions..
I'll be sure to answer them..honestly that is..
So don't go play guessing games and make assumptions on what type of a person I am..Just come up to me and ask me questions and I don't bite..
And I believe this one particular principle is not only applicable to me only, it's a reproducible theory and applicable to all..Don't gossip..go up and ask..

One of my random rambling again, but I feel like sharing something with my dear readers ( that is if I still have one?hahaha)

I am not sure but I kinda think it's important..to me at least..recently my post are mostly about feelings..teheeeee..forgive me for being extremely sentimental this past few months..nak buat macam mana kan..am only human..hehehe

I am not sure how to begin but I have to thank Allah swt to make me live this long enough to make me see in life, anything is possible..

Feels like writing this down when while watching Love and the Other Drugs on Saturday morning while preparing my PhD proposal slides presentation to be presented for the Research Methodology Course..Well, not the typical love story you were expecting, minus all this crappy scenes, it's a pretty descent movie ..really..

When I was involved with a man back in 2009, I was the one who confided the to him being to scared that he would go away..it was perfect but distance gets in the way..I tried everything to get close to him, try applying for the university near where he works without knowing that I am jeopardizing my future by trying to mould my future to fit his..I remember that one fight we had when he get pissed saying that all the decisions I made draws me away from him..it's not as if I wanted or intended for it to happen..Some plans of my life have already been executed before he enters my life..as much as I tried Allah has better plans for me..No matter where I was, I  remain true and loyal but one day, he decided to fall in love with someone else...making decisions to call it off, i was the one who pulled the trigger..But take note that I pull the trigger after some careful thoughts..after weighing a lot of stuff, trying to see if our path will meet or overlap somewhere, but unfortunately there was none and I can't keep him for all the wrong and selfish reason..so I let him go...keeping him..it's not fair..not doing justice for both of us..

Truth to be told I grew weary and careful to avoid any relationship dramas..distance creeps me out...since then I brave the world comfortably alone..

After that, came a few...was forced to or advice to give them chances..when I did, they are no different then the other..trying to mould my future to fit theirs..telling me or giving hints on what to do...I got sick and stopped..It's true what they say..If Allah swt refuses t plant the seed of love in his servants heart, it will never come unless He permits it to happen.

Pray to Allah swt everyday single to day to at least show me at least one who was worthy of my attention..Even if it he is not for my keeping..

He decided to grant me one of my du'a..I found one..but unlike any other..it took me a while to unravel the mystery of this one particular man..like a rubix cube, it takes a while for you to solve em..he's just honest by nature..I get the impression he doesn't live under false pretences...met this guy by accident, became his friend for all the wrong reasons, but everything felt right afterwards..I like chatting (how I wish I could talk to him) with him..we don't do it often, but every time i get the chance to chat with him, he leaves a lasting effect..I feel sane after single time I chat with him..when all else goes haywire..he without knowing, always says the right thing..things I want to hear..

So a few days (or was it week) back I shared with him my preparation for my PhD study..told him that everything is happening so fast it kinda creeps me out..he said, "don't be, good things are hard to come by'...it surprised me and tears well at the corner of my eye..how can there still be a man who encourages you like that..that is when I pray to Allah swt to grant him only the best that life has to offer..I have not yet bumped into a man who wished me well, instead they were questioning 'are you sure this is what you want?'...'x takut ke pergi sorg'.. 'kenapa x buat local je'.. that is how different he is..unselfish act/comment like this is very rare...enough or suffice enough that Allah swt has shown me there are a still a few good men out there..like I said even if he is not for my keeping, he deserves only the best =) Sometimes I would ask myself before I sleep..can I keep you, all to myself ..they say the cure to boredom is curiosity, but there's no cure for curiosity, and I am very curious about you..hahahaha...so much to unravel and the future remains a mystery for both of us...till then..be happy and stay happy =)



Sunday, January 13, 2013

Pounding heart~

ANSWER ME 1997 DRAMA
*and if you can't imagine kissing him, then he's not The One either (call me corny  but it's true) ;p*



Hey there..This post is gonna be another random rambling again..But I guess this post is written down because it matters to my heart. A few days ago I called my ma and told her am headed up to Penang to settle everything once and for all. I humbly asked her to pray for me and I humbly pray to Allah to ease this path of mine (Rabbi yassir wala tu assir…. =)). I even had to tell her that my whole plan to further study had to be postponed for a few months due to some unavoidable matters. Being a worried mom she started nagging. She said “ Postpone lagi ke” I answered sadly “ a ah, I can’t do anything about it, sorry to let you down” She went on “ Mama and papa da tua, lg lambat pergi, lagi lambat balik..lagi..……Susah-susah kawin dulu la sebelum pergi” I answered with a laughed and further answered “ Takde orang nak kt adik..susah-susah mama cari la untuk adik”..Then she went on “Hish, tak nak mama, cari sendiri..Habis tu si polan tu aritu…” I laughed again “Ntah, tak timbul rasa suka pun, besides, He’s after my friend now, he doesn’t even like me to begin with”..Then I excused myself because it was Maghrib and need to get ready for prayer..I told my ma, I love her and told her to kem salam kt semua and never to worry.

That was only an introduction, but I am here to share my view. My ma, my sis, friends and everyone keep asking how do you know that when you are into someone. I smiled and recall a scene from a Korean drama “Answer me 1997” When Shi Won rejected the guy that she was recently going out with because he simply doesn't make her heart pound. I keep having people offering me to meet me up with someone, to get me hooked up with someone..But it’s not as simple as that..I am a slow mo at heart, I'll take my time to fall in love with someone. Even with my ex, it took me 4 years to fall in love with him (3 years of friendship and 1 year of uncertainty and contemplating). Well I do have someone who makes my heart pound hard even from the sight of his name. Even that took me a year to unravel the mystery and he is still a mystery to me till today..hehe..Even if the feeling is not mutual, I’m pretty happy at how things are right now. If Allah permits it, who know s right..No matter how ridiculous this might sound, but I have to tell you girls, if the guys doesn't make your heart pound like you’re about to die, then he’s not the one..If you can’t imagine living with him, being in his arms, then he is not the one..So take your time..You are never desperate and never settle for anything less. Like I always say to myself, even if the journey of falling in love or finding true love takes forever, so be it, challenge yourself..In addition to all the above, before falling in love with someone, fall in love with Allah swt and His Messenger pbuh and yourself first..InsyaAllah you’ll be granted with the best that life has to offer~

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Birthday note to oneself~


*I waannnnnttttttt thisss cake!!!!!!!! golek2 atas lantai merengek sampai dapat!!!*

Bismilahirrahmanirrahim, they say begin your day with basmalah and insyaAllah you’ll be blessed by the Almighty.  Subahanallah, as You are the only one Who are worthy to be praised, Alhamdulillah, for all the things in life that You had blessed upon me and Allahuakbar, for the strength that you have given through out 28 years of my life. Sometimes we tend to forget how be thankful. Yesterday, before I went to bed reminiscing my big day, I remember the text my ma sent me, when a mother acknowledged the fact that I am a good daughter and a good servant to Allah swt, I feel relieved knowing even the whole world are against me, I am on the right track. And knowing that you're on the right track when you know you have been blessed with amazing friends as well. I want to thank mama for always taking me to majlis ilmu, papa who always called and making me laughed with all his lame jokes, my siblings who I shared happiness and hardship with. And finally my friends.I thank all you for always reminding me not be lazy, work hard and never give up hope.And being someone, who always reminds me if my tudung is not long enough or my baju is not loose enough. Nagged if I perform solah lambat. Which surah I should read today, don't forget to perfom solah dhuha, share the beneficial doa's for the sake of our success together (dunia and akhirah inysaAllah). I wouldn't ask for any other friends than you guys. Irreplaceable. Thank you all~   
Just a note to myself on my birthday and a token of my gratitude: 


  •  Even I am yet to be happily married doesn’t make me any less happier 
  •  Earning less than any other colleagues of mine doesn’t make me any poorer or sourer
  •  So far, I went this far to study and I am glad, Subhanallah, that there’s  not even a small seed of arrogance was planted in this weak heart of mine
  •  I have achieve nothing grand and yet I never feel like an underachiever
  •  I am glad I am who I am I don’t really care what others think of me
  •  I am glad that I am not born skinny
  • I am glad that I was once fat 
  •   I am glad that I was once loved
  •   I am glad that I was once hurt
  •  I am glad that I am a simpleton
  •  I am glad that I am the second child out of six and still called adik
  •  I am thankful to have my parents
  •  I am thankful to have amazing siblings
  •  I am glad that I have kind hearted friends
  •  I am glad I have a cool and humble crush. You're unlike any other guys I met. You're amazing. You posses the quality that far exceeds any male population I know but there you are remaining low profile and humble. Humble is a pretty rare trait ya know. Any girl who gets you is very lucky indeed (walaupun saya akan ada sedikit jeles). I hope you'll get someone amazing as you deserve only the best.
  •  I am glad for all the tears that I shed
  • I am glad for all the mistakes and lessons that I learned
  • I am glad I am wacky and bless with loyar buruk attitude
  • I am satisfied so far I am glad that I don’t treat life like it’s a competition 
  •  I am glad that I don’t mind growing old
  • I am glad that I am not resistant to change
And the list goes on…This year present have to wait but do pray for me =)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The post that I was short-listed as one of the 2011 Cleo Top Blogger Competition =)


Paycheck Frenzy~

Would you rather be doing what you enjoy for less pay or something you don't really like but pays very well?

Overrated, I know..hahaha..

But here's something I like to share...

Engaged in a conversation with a medical doctor a few days back and he came up with this quote after I laughingly asked whether or not he'll be stuck at the Psychiatric Department for life..and he said..

"Babe, nothing in this life is permanent".. 

Aaaaand I would continue to relate with the above matter by saying 

'So does your paycheck people!!'..

The number printed on the paycheck will never remain as it is for the next year to come so why bother about money.

As the human system feed on good and healthy food to fuel our system and to have a long prosperous life, well same goes to our souls, it needs love and happiness in order to fuel the passion that we have for life..So why torture yourself..

I am here to proudly announce that currently that I am happy with my life because, I am in love with my life because I am doing what I love and I've got a great paycheck as well..

My beloved ma once said,

'You control the money not the money controls you'

But to get where I am today ain't an easy thing to do, some sacrifices has to me made.I had a huge fight with my ma and had to let go someone who I was so in love with (well that would be another story)

When I was young, primary school to be exact, remember that brown card that needed filled in, remember that the part where it stated Cita-cita (Ambition)..You have to filled it with the top three of your dream ambition..I wrote Doctor, Lecturer and Stewardess (yes ladies please roll your eyes).

But I am a chatterbox and communicate well with people..Remember back In States My English teacher Ms. Troya once scolded me "Ms. Othman, I regret teaching English because once you start talking you can't stop"

My ma has always wanted her children to have a stable job, to be more specific she preferred her children to inherit my dad's comfortable well paid job in the government.

But my brother was the one who broke the rule after he announced that he wanted to be a medical doctor.Well he surprised the whole family because he didn't seem like the job would suit him because forever knowing my brother, he's the joker of the family but he was firm when he told the whole family.

Later I asked him, 

"Doctor huh? Does this has anything to do the paycheck"

'"Hell no, it's because I really wanted to help people and it's fun"

I know right fun?pfft..but he managed to prove us wrong, don't believe me, wait till you see his facebook pic..hehe~

So the continuation of  dad's legacy was then pass down to me..which I obviously rebelled against by leaving home and accepted small pay lecturing job in a private college in Pahang, resulting to a month of silent war and poor dad have to be the middle man before me and ma decided to pull out the white flag.


Just in case you guys are wondering, I taught my student Biology (A-LEVEL).

I taught them for almost a year and I had to leave them to accept a scholarship offer from a well know University and the Ministryof higher education who'll fund my Master and PhD studies and in return I will become a lecturer at the University itself. How can I resist that.

But the beauty about this whole lecturing thingy is when in the end you received thank you note from you student and saying that they got A for the paper that I taught.


Last I heard, all my former A- level got accepted in many of the world renowned University all across Europe.


Climbing a mountain was never easy, so don't whine when we decide to go climb and find the journey to be difficult. We should have known the consequence from the very beginning, don't you think? :) -Diana Rikasari

Diana rikasari is one of  my favourite Indonesian Fashion Blogger which I had surprisingly discovered, had given up her well paid job to start her own shoe line and fashion brand as well and seem that the sacrifices and hard work seems to be paying off.Inspiring.

So for those who kept posting facebook status like 'My work sucks' 'TGIF' 'Oh man, Monday already??dammit'

Stop torturing yourself and go knock yourself out!!~

Here's a thought, God had created Heaven and hell, and why would you normal human being wanted to create another hell for yourself..Tell you it ain't healthy..sooooo...

Everybody is Alice, go Enjoy exploring yourself and the wonderland!!~

p/s: I aspire to be a writer and hoping that by starting this it'll lead to something more promising and fun.

*let's go grab some candy and snicker shall we*

Friday, November 2, 2012

The least I could do is to dream~

I wrote this two years ago..and finding the right hand to hold is still a dream of mine..It wouldn't hurt to dream as it teaches us about hope....=)



I want a hand to hold me..

I want a hand that will guide me...

I want a hand that will wake me up every morning..

I want a hand that I can hold and kiss every time each jamaah prayer ends..

I want a hand to hold and embrace me whenever I'm sad..

I want a hand that will wipe away all my tears even when I cry over stupid stuff..

I want a hand that will comb my hair and lull me to sleep every single night..

I want a hand that will tease and pinch my cheek whenever i'm naughty..

I want a hand that I can always cling to, any time so I won't get lost..

I want a hand that I can always hold until the day I die...

And I will give my hand so that so I can do the same for him...and let him cling to me when the whole world wears him of

*You will always have me, that's a promise