Sunday, April 10, 2011

The white tiger cub~

During the darkest moment of my life Fauzan Ahmad told me 'Peroz, kadang- kadang dalam hidup kita Allah ambil sesuatu dari kita adalah kerana kita terlalu bergantung harap pada benda itu dan kita ada sedikit memalingkan diri dari Allah, jadi dia ambil itu dari kita kerana dia mahu kita bergantung harap pada Dia kerana hanya pada Dia yang Maha Agung tempat kita bergantung harap'..Terima kasih teman untuk nasihat ini yang akan ku bawa sehingga ajal dtg menjemput..

I remembered words utter by Kartina Aziz in the film Cun, 'Kalau ada Cinta dalam hati kita, maksudnya Allah ada dalam diri kita'..Cinta itu indah dan Allah suka benda2 indah! =)

I the type who don't dream..Dreams are very rare, like diamonds..Very Alien to me.I really just don't dream that much..Years back I've have always sincere pray to Allah,

'If the men existed in my life , if any of them are meant for me, bring him close to me and if not, i'll pray for their happiness and may you grant them Your blessings'..

Never in my life have I prayed so sincerely before.

So one night, I dreamt of this lil white tiger cub, and in that dream it was my most prize possession but something has happen which forced me to gave it away, and after a while I came back to take it back, the lil white tiger cub doesn't recognize me anymore, it even tried to scratch me, clawed me and even bit me. I was so devastated, I cried so hard only to realize that when I woke up tears was streaming down and I was panting so hard and that has never happened to me before..I was surprise and and the aftermath has caused my heart to hurt so bad as if I really had lost the cub..everything felt so real..(T_T)

And because of the dream, it gave me to courage for me to confide to a guy that I really like him.

But in life, things doesn't always goes as you planned.We parted ways. It tore both of us apart. But life has to go on.

After a year I realized I got the whole thing all wrong, When I was soo confident that iIhad it all figured out.I was actually wrong.

I thought the rare white tiger cub was him, I thought it represents a man's presence in my life, but i realize that the lil white tiger cub represents love..

My love for a man a human being and also my love towards Allah s.w.t..

When it turn my back from Allah, even He never leave me, but the path that I had chosen will bring me farther away form Him..

I once heard there was this of this saying, 'A step you take towards Allah, Allah will take a thousand steps towards you.'

He took away my most prize possession but I get Him back in return. He took me away the things I love most is also because He want to teach the felling of losing something , helpless and hurt, I will always have Him to turn too. If I continue to turn my back on Him I will loose Him forever like I lost that lil white tiger cub in my dream.

I am far from being a perfect servant to Him but I will always bear in mind even if I have loose everything in life, lost in any battle, how life beats the life out of me leaving me severely damage and irreparable , He will always be there for me..always there to show me His love and compassion..~

No matter if there is a reservoir/pool of sadness in your deepast darket corner of your heart, always know that it won't remain there as Allah will evaporate it just as long as you look for Him.

It's been a while since I last wrote..but i feel good writing this one down.

I will not post as much as I use too but I'll try okies.

Take care everyone~